No, I have not in fact lost my mind.  I often find good examples for “morality plays” in science fiction.  The genre is well-suited for such things, and Star Trek was always concieved as precisely that; a morality tale.  The concept that I find applies here is one that, while touched upon once in a blue moon in the various Trek TV shows, is heavily explored through the Star Trek books, which I read.

The concept is IDIC.  Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.  It’s not an Oprah-style touchy-feely “liberal” concept either.  As explored in the many Trek books, it is based mostly on the fact that rugged individualism is what creates a successful cosmos.  There can be uniformity amongst a particular race, but each race, each planet must be allowed to live and grow and develop its own style, its own way of life.  The concept is the basis for the Prime Directive, which you Trek fans know is a policy of non-interference in developing cultures so as not to artificially affect the “flavor” of their development.  The purpose of IDIC is to create a group of individuals that come together out of choice and enrich each other by adding elements that are unique.

In the novel ”Dreadnought” by Diane Carey, the main character is attempting to explain a fictional war that takes place on earth, basically around our time.  The explanation is given in order to explain why she recognizes the pattern repeating itself with the bad guy in the book.  I offer this passage as proof that IDIC is founded in the celebration of individualism.

“To what were you referring when you told Rittenhouse that ‘it’ would not work? You mentioned a coup at Star Fleet …”
“That would be only part of it. A big part, but—well, Earth history has good examples.”
“I am disturbingly ignorant of Earth history.”
“You don’t know the events that led up to the Third World War?”
“As I indicated, I do not.”
“Well … freedom isn’t something people just give up one day. It trickles away, bit by bit, without anyone really noticing soon enough.” Seeing his quandary, I offered, “Let me give you an example. In the prosperity of the late twentieth century people kept handing over deciding powers to their governments, sometimes even demanding government intervention. Can you imagine actually asking bureaucracies to take over?” Disbelief crossed Sarda’s face. As a Vulcan, he couldn’t even conceive of such a thing, so I kept on explaining since interest lay behind his disbelief. “It started with the most basic of rights—property. The right of the individual to the fruits of his own labor went under in the face of the needs of his society.”
“Were there not objections?”
“Sure, strong ones, but too late. Those who benefited from sacrificing the individual to society were too powerful. Some groups became so powerful that nobody could compete anymore. So more government help. The pile got bigger and bigger, but it was just a fat horse. The more it got fed, the less work it could do. You heard Rittenhouse talk about a common-good sort of ideal? This is the same thing. After a while the only way to survive in the “new” system was through joining a powerful group—a labor union, like I said, a religious organization, a political unit or business conglomerate that had gotten itself special insulation from competitors. Eventually individuals fired by self-interest just began to disappear, replaced by those groups, each fighting for a different way to promote the common good, which of course translated into whatever was best for themselves. The economic system fell like a house of cards. If society had problems, they blamed it on parts of society who were disruptive, the same people who just happened to have different viewpoints from theirs. So they pushed for control of those others.”
“Like the Klingons,” Sarda murmured.
“And everybody else who doesn’t go along with his plan,” I agreed, glad he could grasp so senseless an idea. “The harder the struggle, the tighter the control.”
“The deeper the loss of freedoms,” he finished for me. He dropped his gaze. “The Vulcans would be among the first to struggle. And we would never cease struggling against such foolish unity.”
I answered only with a silent nod.
“Strange,” he said, “that no one questioned the basic philosophy.”
“What do you mean?”
His brow knitted. “There is no such thing as ‘common good.’ The only good is in what the individual finds best for himself. If he does no harm in his practice, why would others seek to control him?”
“On Earth, it was because the others wanted what the individual had earned. Somehow they made themselves believe he didn’t deserve what he worked for, if it went too far over what someone else had, even if that second person hadn’t put much effort out on his own behalf. It became easier to get the government to steal for you than to work your way up.”
“Inconceivable.”
“It is to me too.” The bench creaked as I leaned back in thought. “To everybody on Earth. That’s why we guard our personal freedoms so dearly. We came too close to handing them over, and losing them forever.”
“Did this … change of structure occur swiftly? All over the planet at once?”
“Well, Earth’s a big planet, but it did hustle right along once it started. It started on the Asian continent and spread to Europe, the Africas, over to South America, and eventually the North Americas. Wherever it went it squeezed the life out of the economy by enslaving successful people to placate those who didn’t produce.”
“A viral effect?”
“More like a plague. Or a drug, might be the better way to say it. The addict keeps asking for more. The worse things got, the more the government interfered. After a while, nobody bothered to be an entrepreneur anymore. Oh, they got their utopian one-class society, all right, but the one class was poverty. The black market went wild. Politics became more powerful than personal initiative. People lost the idea of individual action and started looking for great leaders.”

What does this have to do with Malkin, Kid Rock and the GOP?  It’s simple; IDIC, translated into modern Republican campaign-speak, is the phrase “the big-tent party.”

The emphasis in the quoted passage is mine, and the reason I emphasized those three sentences in particular is because I know the more libertarian and conservative among you are nodding your heads along with much of that in agreement, because you can plainly see the parallels between the UN-style semi-socialist world of the left and the individualist, capitalist-style favored by the right.  And you are correct.  But there is another interpretaion, one where the “society” translates to “Republican party,” the “government” mentioned is the “conservatives” that Malkin applauded in her original post, and the class of poverty translates to a uniformity of thought that seems to appeal to people like Michelle, at least when it comes to issues of popular entertainment.

Stepford Republicans.  That is what we will end up with if we keep trying to turn away South Park Republicans.  Stepford Republicans that can’t handle anything beyond Pat Boone, and therefore will be woefully out of touch with America.  If certain forces in the GOP had their way, the big tent is a lie.  There is no diversity, only uniformity.  Diversity goes well beyond sex or skin tone, so pointing out Condi Rice out will not suffice.  That is not the diversity to which I, or my example, refer.

I mean real diversity, diversity of thought.  Diversity of deed.  Diversity that can be celebrated without being adopted.  I can look at someone who lives a pious, chaste, religious life and respect that person without adopting the same exact lifestyle for myself.  I can take what this person has to offer me, combine it with the gifts of knowledge I receive from everyone else I experience(online and off) and still maintain my own sense of self in thought and action.

In more simple terms that directly apply here, watching Kid Rock perform two or three songs at a youth-oriented pre-inaguration party thrown by the Bush twins doesn’t mean you have to start emulating him or his lyrics.  It just means you acknowledge that he has a role in the party just like you.  It means you live the concept of the big tent instead of just paying it lip service.

Let me pose some questions: If one uses the term South Park Republican with scare quotes, uses it as what is essentially an insult, isn’t it reasonable to infer that person does not approve of SPRs?  So, Kid Rock is not acceptable to the GOP.  Who’s next?  We know gays are barely tolerated but really, in truth, unwelcome.  Rappers who swear and use the word “pimp” are unwanted.  SPRs are to be looked down upon.  Who’s next on the unwanted list?  Who gets marked with the scarlet letter?

Who, exactly, are the right kind of people?  And where in the name of all that is holy do you expect to find these perfect Republicans?  I can tell you one thing; you won’t find many of them in America.  We’re a diverse and rabidly individualstic mish-mash of a thousand cultures and influences.  Stepford Republicans don’t exist in bulk, and the ones that do exist in the general population are forcing themselves into this mold for fear of disapproval from the hive mind.  Kid Rock should be welcomed because he can draw the youth that the Republicans should want. Criticizing Kid Rock is one thing, but telling him he’s not welcome to celebrate the election of a man he vociferously supported?  That’s just plain dumb.  The concept of the big tent is, on the surface, that one does not have to be a Stepford Republican to be welcomed into the fold.

That doesn’t seem to be true in practice.

It would also help if one understood the content and context in which the content was presented.  We on the right cry foul when men like Dan Rather and Michael Moore present things out of context to support a specious conclusion, yet there is Michelle, responding directly to me in her update by selectively quoting the worst lyrics she could find in Kid Rock’s body of work.

You know who else did that?  Tipper Gore.  One can only assume Michell Malkin is a big fan.  Another more current popular figure likes to take the worst things a person says or does out of context to try to prove a point.  His name is Michael Moore.  Should I also assume Malkin to be a fan of the big?  When our opponents do it, it’s bad.  When we do it, what is it?  The answer is still “bad.”

Part of the problem here is I don’t think Malkin is familiar with anything about Robert Ritchie (Kid Rock’s real name).  I think she knows what she’s seen in soundbytes or read from others who share her self-admitted prudishness.

The best way I can illustrate what Rock is about is to use one of his own songs.  It’s my opinion that 90% of what Kid Rock is about can be found in the song ”You Never Met A Motherfucker Quite Like Me.” (6.7MB, 192K Mp3)

Yep
I’ve been on the cover of the Rolling Stone
I met the president when I was half stoned

I’ll bet money that some of you who agree with Michelle are already balking at this line.  Now, each one of you look deep in your hearts and answer this question: Have you ever, or is it possible for you ever, to be in a social gathering where you may drink enough to be tipsy, and at this function met someone “higher up” that yourself?  A boss, a politician, whatever?  None of you who are clucking your tongues at Kid Rock have ever had three or four cocktails at a function?

I been so high I’ve gotten confused
I been beat down, broke and used
Motherfucker

Expletives always scare prudes, even though they are just words.  The point, however, is that Ritchie is a working-class kid who came up poor, and the “motherfucker” comes after the lyric about being used.  It’s not exactly rocket science to say that he’s swearing at the people who take advantage of those who come from where he came from.

I drank with hank, talked blues with Billy
Rocked with Run sang with shotgun Willy
Went from small time philly to big time Bobby
From 3 day old chili to saki with wosabi

A celebration of success and being able to meet his heros.  What could possibly be wrong with this?

I’m home hey I’m home
You never met a motherfucker quite like me
Not like me, dida dada like me, hey like me

A perfect example of the celebration of IDIC.  Rock knows that his strength is his fusion of trailer parks, country, rock and rap.  He’s a living example of the melting pot.

No more bein’ poured drink specials at winners
Or being ignored by the think straight sinners

He’s wealthy enough to not have to socialize at crappy bars drinking rotgut because it’s cheap, and powerful enough that people like...well...people that claim to be the pulse of morality...can no longer ignore him.

I used to smoke pinners while my moms made dinner
Now I smoke bombs and rock with Lynyrd skynyrd

Oh my, a drug reference.  Scary.  How many of you have never taken a substance that alters your state of consciouness.  Ever?  Not a single beer?  Hypocrites come in all flavors, including Republican.  Bill Hicks said it best.  No one will ever make this point as well as he made it, so let me let him tell you.

“If you don’t believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor and go home tonight, take all your albums, all your tapes, and all your CD’s and burn ‘em. Cause you know what...the musicians who made all that great music, that enhanced your lives throughout the years?  Real fucking high on drugs.”

Exactly.

No beginners here I’m a seasoned vet
Educated on jazz by my man Amed
Heard again my friend I been the world n back
But I’m Michigan boy can you feel that

Here comes the first taste of what has turned out to define a big part of Ritchie’s life: his love for where he’s from.

chorus

Never thought I’d go as far in life as this
Never made par and I could give 2 shits
Never wanted sell cars cause my dad was a dick
Never wanted a guitar ‘till I heard a lick like this

More celebration of success, something that we as people on the right often say is lacking in today’s world.  We’re made to feel guilty for success, and Rock is saying “hell no, I worked hard for this.” Again I ask, what could possibly be wrong with that?

And from the depths of dixie to my northern spots
You know its time to rock when ole glory drops

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the big reveal; Bob Ritchie is a patriot.  He fucking loves this country.  He’s not always Shakespeare when he says it.  But his heart is more in the right place than a lot of people I see who make a big show of loving America on the right or the left.

Here comes the part that has been hammered on…

I pimp through town with the top laid back
Black hat, fine blonde, cold pabst in my lap
I’ll adapt
To any and all situations
Thats why they call me the pimp of the nation

Well, well.  Kid Rock calls himself a pimp of the nation.  And some folks are highly offended.  One problem; those folks don’t have the first frigging clue what Rock is actually saying here.

First of all, this is a kid that idolized rap growing up.  I grew up just before he did, and I watched rap evolve from Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five doing “The Message” to NWA’s “Straight Outta Compton.” What evolved were two strains of rap in the early days; the story-telling, message or moral-based strain, and the battle-rap bragging style.  The battle rap style dominated and to an extent still dominates the scene.  The point of battle rapping varies depending on where you are from, but the one constant is that you must brag.  You must talk about yourself like you are the hottest thing on earth.  I hate to break it to conservatives, but the pimp culture was seen for a long time as a legitimate way to earn major money and get your ass out of the ghetto.  It featured prominently in the burgeoning days of rap, and over time has come to take on a whole new meaning.

“Pimping” as it is colloquially known today does not mean that you dominate a group of women and send they out on the street to sell their bodies while keeping the profits for yourself.  Instead it has come to mean living with a certain flair, which to white folks can be called “the rock star lifestyle.” In rap it means champagne and beautiful women, hot cars, nice clothes and also not taking shit from anyone.

That is the pimping to which Rock is referring.  Everything else is just hyperbole to enhance image and sell records.  It’s marketing.  We Republicans know what that means, because we accept and support our candidates when they market themselves to the undecideds.

Hey bitch you best believe I live in the woods not your world of greed
Might, a little weed might a little yeah
I’m so proud to be living in the USA

If you can see that and not understand that this guy loves this country...well, you are blind and you have decided to hate the guy no matter what.

And in a perfect ending, to illustrate how seriously people like Malkin take him and how he doesn’t take himself nearly as seriously, he ends the track this way:

You’ve never met a motherfucker quite like me
Hey hey like me, da di da da stay like me, hey hey hey like me
You aint ever met and you aint never going meet
You never met a ,never met a ,never never never never met a
Motherfucker quite like me
You aint never met a mother like me
Hey you aint never never never never never met someone like me

The music fades out here to leave Rock singing his ass off acapella.

(Hey hey)
Never met like me,
(Hey hey)
(Hey dude hey)
Never met a mother like me
(Come on, hey)
And you never, and never gonna never gonna meeeeeet
(Hey come on already)
You never meeeeeeeet
(stop)
What?
(Dude, theres more to life that just you)
hahaha

The parentheticals are a different guy mocking his seriousness. 

Do you get it now?

The K.I.D. is worth having under the big tent.  I only hope that I have illustrated why, and helped to clear up some misconceptions about what he’s singing about.

Less