Sun, 13 Apr 2008 12:00:00
Notes for my wife, part 3: The Captain Jim Adventures Part 2
Part 1 (plus what this is about) here. Part two of the series can be found here. I know, this is technically part two of the Captain Jim story, but it’s the third post in the “Notes For My Wife” posts. Think of this as my First Blood/Rambo naming/numbering screwup. ;)
Captain Jim, Part 2: The French Resistance
Captain Jim took the bottle of brandy in his hand, drew it up to his lips and pulled deeply on the amber liquid. “That’s just what I needed, thank you.” he said to the French farmer who owned the bottle. “I’ve been hiding in barns for days and days, and a bit of that takes the chill right out of me.”
Jim had been shot down over France over a week ago and had spent that time eluding capture by patrolling German army units. It was the kindness of strangers like Aubert that kept him from being shipped off to one of the fabled camps.
“Oui, monsieur, zomtimez all you need eez a beet of brandy, no? Ees almost as good for you as zee wine my family hass bin making for two hundred years! Theese God-forsakeen Jherr-mahnz, now they com and take my grapes and zay eet is for zee war? What is Aubert to do? Whon weel the Americains come and free zee Fronche peoples?”
“I don’t know, Aubert. I heard June, maybe August. This is near the end though, I can feel it.”
“I hope so, Jeem. I truly hope you arre correct in theese pree-deeck-shon.”
Jim’s face lit up with realization. “Aubert! I have it. I have a short-term solution for you. Listen, do you have access to any underground tunnels or caverns you cat store grapes in?”
Aubert frowned, then smiled widely. “But ov coursse, mon ami, ov course! I zee your cunning plan. But how will I obtain zee grapes in zee forst places? Zee Jherr-manz, zey watch my vines and count zee grapes!”
Jim returned the smile. “Don’t you worry about that, Aubert. I’m going to make a run to Stop & Shop and buy you some grapes. Those damned Nazis won’t know about them! Then you can get back to making wine and your family will be able to pay off the local Gestapo to leave you alone.”
“But Jeem, ziss plan, eet weel put you in much dangers, no?”
“Danger is what I do, Aubert. It’s what I do. Listen, if Ralph shows up, tell him to meet me at Checkpoint Alpha Niner. He’ll know what that means. Tell him I left at 1600. Tell him to meet me there. And if I don’t come back, will you mail this letter for me? It’s for my girl back home.”
“Cap-tayne Jeem, eet would be an ‘on-herr for me to do these theeng for you. Eeet is the very ‘eart of zee Fronche peoples, theese kind of romance for thee woo-man. I, Aubert Pierre Broussard de Vinicole, shall pass zee message along to your friend Ralph, and eef you do not come back to Aubert’s chateau, I shall zend your lettere to your meesus. Theese I promise you as a Froncheman! Now go! Be sweeft, and we shall strike a blow for zee freedoms my bro-thair!”
Jim took one last look around the farmyard. “I will be back, Aubert. I want to taste your wine. Plus, I’m very lonely and your wife is the only French woman I’ve met who bathes and shaves. Anyway, adieu, mon ami. I shall return with much fruit de la vigne for your family!”
Aubert never saw that American pilot again, but he never forgot how one American braved the elements, Nazis and Saturday supermarket shoppers just to bring him some grapes.
I looked up French family names that had to do with winemaking and so forth. Also, if you say Aubert’s dialogue out loud, it’s to be done in a horrible French accent and the word “Fronche” is pronounced exactly as Mrs. Meyer did in Better Off Dead.
Posted by JimK at 12:00 PM on April 13, 2008
Permalink | Trackbacks (0) | Email to a friend |
Categories: Humor, Personal
Tags:

#1 Posted by Janna
on 04/13 at 04:14 PM -
ok, these are funny and cute but seriously...you have WAY to much time on your hands LOL
I’m glad Donna enjoys them. I’m sure she looks forward to each one wondering what Captain JIm will be up to next.
Very cute