So.  This week i decided NOT to take notes as I watched.  See, I’m not a note-taker or an outliner.  I’m a “write the whole thing right now” writer, so my “note-taking” usually means an hour show goes two hours while I write a bajillion words.  I developed this technique whle recapping reality shows.  I think I’ve lost the fun in watching regular shows like BSG by using the reality TV style of watch/writing.  No more.

I enjoyed this week’s show.  It was a little bit filler, but on the other hand it addressed issues that are bound to come up in a civilization that prides itself of maintaining...well...civilization.  I thought that Chief was right pretty much all the way down the line, and that the tylium workers were in fact being exploited and treated like crap.

Now, I pretty much come down as anti-union all around.  In most industries, the time where the union did the worker any good has long passed, and in many industries the union has grown so powerful so as to cripple the ability of that industry to compete globally.

In this case?  Those folks needed a union and badly.

I liked how Adama had it both ways - he threatened to shoot Callie if Chief didn’t call off the strike of the deck hands.  He was actually right to do that.  Like it or not Galactica is at a state of actual war.  Everyone on the deck has a rank, and falls under Adama’s rule.  To maintain military discipline he needs to be ready to make an example out of anyone unwilling to follow a lawful order.  Would he really have shot Callie?  Dunno.  But Chief Tyrol thought so, and caved in, and that is all that matters.  Adama wins.  But, being Adama, he gives the Chief what he wants anyway, a meeting with laura to discuss conditions on the refinery ship.  Best of both worlds.  Iron fist, velvet glove.  Smartly played.

Did anyone else notice that Roslin’s voice was dubbed in the scene where she’s talking to Tyrol?  She says something else and the words “the refinery” were dubbed over.  Perhaps she originally called the ship by name?  I wonder what was said there.

So now Neelix (oops, wrong space show!) Seelix is gonna be a fighter jock.  No wonder we had to meet her last week.

All in all I liked this week.  I like these slice-of-life-in-the-fleet episodes where you learn some of the mechanics of how things work in this world.  I also think the solutions presented were equitable, and will go toward cutting Gaius off at the knees - his ”Two Americas” oops...thought he was John Edwards for a minute there.  Anyway, Baltar’s “two classes” theory won’t hold much water when someone sees a high-bred Caprican scrubbing a toilet on the algae-processing ship.

OH!  Speaking of how things work - opening scene - Raptor spinning out of control.  Heading straight for Colonial One.  One engine firing and sending it erratically forward and in a spin.  The very clearly showed us the pilots ejecting when the top of the raptor was lined up with the top of Colonial One.  The energy from the ejections seats should have worked like directional thrusters, pushing the Raptor downward and almost certainly, given the sizes and distances on the screen, out of Colonial One’s path.

I think the writers forgot how space works… :) YES.  I AM A DORK.  Shut up.

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- Previously on...The focus seems to be on The Old Man, with some Lee and no, wait...it’s about relationships - Lee with his dad, Adama with Laura, Chief and Callie, Baltar and the fleet.  So, keep that stuff in mind.

- We pick up on a flashback, a slightly younger Adama staring wistfully at some trees, and then CurrentDayBill wakes up - next to a blonde!  Who the frack is The Old Man fracking?  Here comes Ol’ Salty Seadog to ask questions - or be obvious about not asking questions.  :)

- Chief Tyrol...he seems real happy to be heading back to his wife and kid.  Methinks he’s getting real tired of running the flight deck and listening to Callie and trying to raise the baby - but maybe a lot of that is Callie bitching at him over things he can’t control?  Perhaps she might be less of a bitch?

- Back to Adama and Tigh.  The blonde was a memory.  Saul said “Happy Anniversary” when he walked in so I assume that this is Adama’s wedding anniversary.  Or the anniversary of their divorce?

While I had the TiVo paused, Donna said “Can i have some more action in my Battlestar please?  Could the Cylons come back and attack or somethning?” NO SHIT.  Battlestar 90210 is wearing really thin these days.  Someone recently on some TV blog somewhere left a comment and called the show “All My Children in space.” That’s not too far off.  Actually - on All My Children, there have been a fucking shitload of murders, fights and all sorts of action recently, and that’s just PATHETIC that more is happening on a crappy daytime soap than is happening on Battle-fracking-star Galacti-fracking-ca.  But I digress.

And now the dead woman is talking to him. 

Saul: “You can use some time for yourself. I can handle first watch.”
Adama: “I’ll be keeping my schedule, this is just another day.”
Dead Wife Voice: “Just another day?  Maybe I should have married him instead of you.”

I’m guessing form what she said that maybe there’s some backstory here with a love triangle?

Flashback to younger Bill and his wife, and DeadWifeVoice wants to know why after all these years he keeps bringing her back only on this one day.

Bill seems like he’s delusionally distracted, flipping back and forth between this head conversation and real life.  Like Gaius and Caprica do all the time.  OH MY GOD BILL ADAMA IS A CYLON!  ;)

I kid.

- Cut to Callie the Nag (when did they decide that she had to be a stereotypical nagging bitch?).

PAUSE - OH man I just had a revelation.

Way back when, we learned that Starbuck was head over heels in love with the other Adama boy who’s name I cannot remember.  Lee’s brother, Bill’s (older?) other son.

Also, way back when, there was a lot of talk that Adama is a Cylon - one of the Cylons said that to Laura as she flushed him out an airlock.  There was even a webpage about it a couple of years ago.  It’s not Bill, the Cylons would not have hatched a long-term plan to assassinate him if he were a Cylon.  It’s not Lee, because he got really fat.  No way would they genetically engineer a guy like that.  :)

It’s the other son.  HE’S NOT DEAD.  He never was.  My prediction - the other Adama boy will be one of the final 5.

- UNPAUSE

Back to Callie & the Chief.  Looks like this is going to be a long, shitty day.  Chief just called Callie and “Seelix” (did I hear that right?  Like Neelix from Star Trek Voyager?) to come with him.  I smell a redshirt situation!  Meanwhile she’s just being a right ridiculous bitch.  Is she not aware that they are barely 41000 poeple living on broken-down ships with no resupply like - EVER?  There’s work to be done, woman, so shut the frack up once in awhile.

Seelix screws up nicely or so it seems.  The Airlock doors shut and Chief and Callie are stuck and losing air.  One of the patches is leaking and Seelix is off the hook, the doors close automatically to protect the rest of the ship.

There’s a beautiful shot of the air escaping outside as we pull a way from Galactica and...theme music.  Man I love those drums.

- 4,1398 Survivors.  Haven’t I told you people to start breeding?  Mandatory fracking begins now!  I call dibs on any one of the Sixes and two of the Eights.

Wait.  last week it was 41,401.  We only lost 3 people in the Great Sagitarron Epidemic of last week?  How the hell is that possible?  Now way were enough babies born to offset that.  I guess we’re just supposed to be stupid and not question it…

- Back to The Old Man and he’s doing memory exercises to make sure that he remembers everyone’s name.  It seems like a trick, but I think it shows that he cares about his people and wants them to know it.  DeadWife seems to want him to hook up with Laura.  Do it, man!  I’ll be Roslin’s a total cougar.  Rawr!

- Speaking of the Cougar, she’s on Galactica to see Bill and make Presidential and Admiral decisions.  Cute, Laura mention “The Caprica Six,” and that is important.  She made Caprica feel like she valued her as an individual, but clearly Madame President still sees her as a “the” or rather an “it” and not a “she.”

Seems there is a question about how to try Gaius.  I suppose that makes sense.  What planet’s law runs the show?  I say Caprican.  Why?  Because Gaius broke the law on Caprica.  He allowed Caprica Six into the defense grid on Caprica.  All his original treason took place on Caprica.  Try him under Caprican law.  Or a military tribunal but broadcast it over the wireless for the sake of transparency and to let people get their blood lust sated.

They decide to set up a Committee To Think About How We’re Going To Set Up A Committee To Actually Do Something About “The Gaius Baltar Situation”, which might be the longest committee name in history.  Laura wants Lee Adama to run it, because she, and I quote, wants “someone who knows the difference between right and wrong.” Guess who that isn’t?  You got it, Lee Adama.  Why not as the one guy who has ALWAYS known and acted on the difference between right and wrong?  Helo.

Oh wait, we’re probably back to not listening to anything Helo has to say.

Laura asks if she can hang out and use Galactica’s gym, and Bill flashes on DeadWife.  Mixing them up a little in your head, Billy-boy?

- Back to Chief and Callie, and she’s just NOT getting any better.  Chief is trying to fix a fracking hole in the fracking ship and she’s still being a snippy bitch.

- Cut to DeadWife lecturing Bill about his shortcomings.  Ooh...mirroring.  Clever dicks, those writers.  Also, I just got British for a moment?  “Clever dicks?” Who says that?

- One of the pilots mentions that it’s been 49 days since they have run into a Cylon.  Yeah, get sloppy you dumbasses.  Then we’re treated to a pilot I don’t recognize scratching hard at his crotch.  Classy!

Lee is CAG-ing it up and actually saying something worthwhile - 49 days don’t mean dick.  Don’t Get Sloppy!

- More Old Man flashbacks as he watches Lee talk.  OK, WHAT IS THIS DAY?  When did she die?  She said earlier that she is “long-dead.” Is this obvious to everyone else and I just can’t remember a discussion about Bill’s wife before?  Is this the anniverary of her death?  DeadWife reminds Bill that he needs to tell Lee that he’s proud of him as a father.  Uhh...is there a whole new writing staff this year or something?

THEY HAVE HAD THIS CONVERSATION A WHOLE BUNCH OF TIMES OVER THE PAST THREE YEARS.  He knows that, and DeadWife is, after all, just a manifestation of his own mind.  They need to start watching their own show, or hire a bible-keeper.

Lee and Bill chat about Baltar’s trial.  Lee’s got an old fascination with the law, seems like he wanted to be a lawyer when he was a kid.  I see where this is going.  Lee joined the service because Dad and Brother did, and he never got the recognition, and he resented Dad, and Dad never hugged him and blah blah blah they have already dealt with this stuff on this show.

- Cut to Callie and Chief.  Still no luck with the patch.  Call Jeordie in Engineering, he can re-focus the frastion grebulator and seal the patch with his eyewear.

Instead what is going to happen here is that the air is going to steadily leak out, and they will huddle together for warmth and just as teh last of air in the oxygen bottles is about to go, someone wil save the day, and Callie will suddenly not be such a bitch and Tyrol will suddenly not be so ass-dragging when it comes to being with his family - which will of course be automatically easier when Callie stops being such a bitch.

I am positive I saw this on Star Trek before.  At least twice - Once with Ryker and Troi, and once with Tom Paris and his half-Klingon bitch of a wife B’Elanna.  B’Elanna was a straight bitch about 90% of the time.  I don’t care how good the poontang was.

Anyway…

- Here comes the Important Walk Down The Hallway shot.  All the important folks have come to watch Chief and Callie die.  Lee says the manual override is busted.  It’ll take an hour to cut through the blast door.  Anything that can blow the window will kill them.

PAUSE -

I just came up with a plan.  Saul said it, they need six week in drydock just to hammer out the dings.  So...Go in from the outside with a Raptor.  COME ON!  If you’re gonna steal from Trek, do that thing where you have a “temporary docking seal” and then just bash that leak into a big-ass hole.  They crawl out and everyone is safe for the time being.

- UNPAUSE

They’re doing almost exactly what I said just without the docking collar, which makes it about a million times more dangerous.  They have to jump through open space and land on the Raptor deck.  Crap.  Hey, maybe Callie won’t make it and we won’t have to hear her being a bitch anymore.  She is thinking about who gets her baby though, so maybe I shouldn’t be too hard on her.

Finally some action.  I actually care about this whole setup now...the pilots have to do things just so, a door is gonna explode...something is going to happen.  I like BSG when stuff happens.

- Athena is driving the rescue Raptor...which adds that element of oddness, as Athena is a Sharon, which has a connection to Chief (she’s not *his* Sharon, but still...) She’s the best Raptor pilot so good choice.  Lee and Starbuck are literally catching them.

Here we go.

SWEET.  That was awesome.  Crap and chunks of steel flying at the Raptor and Athena swoops it down and catches Callie & Tyrol as they fly out.  Nicely done.  This is what BSG is so good at!

They’re in bad shape - We need SmokingDoc!

- Back in The Old Man’s quarters, and Lee is trying to get The Old Man to open up.  It turns out this is his wedding anniversary.

Well, maybe we’re going to get at why Lee is always such a prick to Bill, going back to day one.  Perhaps I jumped the gun when i said we’ve dealt with this before...Lee’s been keeping a secret.  A little 90210 moment that is actually useful.

Turns out life with Mom and her new husband wasn’t the bed of roses Bill thought it was.  Turns out Mom was bi-polar and a drunk.  Plus Bill put his career above the family.  HeadWife, which is Bill’s conscience, reminds him that he prides himself on being a leader of men...and if he admitted that his decision to marry her and have kids was wrong, that would make him question every other decision in his life, and as I have said in these BSG recaps before, the last thing Adama needs is to second guess himself all the time.  He’s the last military leader in all of humanity for all intents and purposes.

Hard call.  No one is right here, and everyone is wrong.  Lee drops a bomb on Pops - Lee believes that The Old Man loved his wife, but he thinks Mom neverloved Bill.

- Medbay.  Tyrol looks awful good in the face area for a guy who just went through the vacuum of fracking space!  Plus the baby look like he’s smuggling kittens in his face!  That kid has chub-tastic cheeks!

Mom & Dad will be OK, it seems.  It remains to be seen if attitudes will change.  I’m assuming they will.  Callie is in a hyberbaric chamber, and Tyrol shows her the baby.

Cute - Adama just name-checked Seelix in the doorway of the medbay.  :) He also overheard Tyrol telling Callie that somehow they will find a balance and a way to take care of the baby.

Adama obviously sees a man making a decision he never made.  I’ll bet in the future, Adama finds little ways to help them, scheduling and so forth.

- Lee came back to his quarters, kisses the wife he’s not sure he wants to be with, and found a big box.

Dee: “It’s from your father”
Lee: “Is it ticking?”

It’s Grandpa Adama’s law books.  Caprican criminal codes!  Heh.  Someone advised that.  I wonder who.

Cute moment with Laura, calling back an old conversation they had a while ago...she gave him a book and said “It’s a gift, not a loan.” Adama taught her - never loan a book, because you probably won’t get it back.  Just give it as a gift and everyone wins.  She remembered.  How romantical.

Just fuck already!

The Old Man is about to lay some moves on her I hope.  Come on, Old Man...tell her how pretty she is when she laughs!  Tell her if the Cylons hadn’t come back you’d have swept her off her feet and banged her eight ways from Sunday!  Stop hiding behind your job!

Pussy.  She’s waving you in, Bill.

Carol Ann...that’s DeadHeadWife’s name.  He decides that he’ll see her again next year.  No, Bill...you won’t make it another year now that Cougar Laura has set her sights on you...next year this time you’ll be thanking the gods for the sex drive of the middle-aged woman.  :)

Well, part of that episode was slow and plodding and part of it was useful.  Only the rescue was exciting though.  We really really REALLY need more action on this show.

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- “Previously, on...” Mostly stuff about Athena/Sharon and Helo and Salty Sea Dog.  Also, they showed a clip of Adama talking specifically about Helo being transferred and the refugees coming aboard - when the hell did they show that on TV?  Was that web thing?  I never saw it.  Weird.  Anyway, Helo isn’t number two any more.  Looks like the One Eyed Moonshine Disposal Unit and General Bad Ass is back in CIC.

That’s an awfully long nickname.  :)

- We start with Helo lying awake next to Athena, which is...you know...great for him, as lying next to Grace Park under any circumstances has got to be a good thing.  He seems troubled.  Likely a result of his new job we know nothing about, or - he did shoot his wife and all.  Teased by the still-flying pilots on his way to work, the gist seems to be that this refugee thing is maybe a little beyond him.  Tigh seems to see this as well, and Helo clearly resents his assistance.  Thing is, Salty Sea Dog is good at EXACTLY this: making people follow basic instructions due to the threat of force he is always implying with every word.  people just do what he says...maybe he’s actually the right guy for this job.  I suppose we’ll see.

We learn that Sagittarons don’t believe in medicine, or military doctors or something, and will get violent to protect their privacy...and half the bay seems really, really ill.  Here it comes.

I guess the lesson here is that when the safety of the fleet is at stake, religious practice can go straight to hell - as it should, since the whole point here was the Sagittaron pig-headed ignorance of proper medical procedure and refusal to be examined obviously leads to this epidemic.

Hey, I bet Dr. Baltar has a solution, or could find one in like, 1/32 the time it would take Doc Smokey to solve the trouble.  :)

- 41,401 members of the fleet remaining.  2 down from the last count.

- “Melorak” sickness?  Spelling is probably off.  It’s spread through contact.  Must be treated within 48 hours or it will kill you in 3-5 days.  Of course we can’t actually do anything to STOP the infection from spreading for fear of offending the Sagittarons.  The Powers That Be simply decide to let it ride and deal with the aftermath.

-Gaius will be tried - and Roslin simply stated that “...he will be found guilty.” Tom Zarek is literally spouting the arguments we heard about Saddam Hussein’s trial and subsequent execution.  EVERY WORD that came out of his mouth was drummed into our heads my media and pundits dedicated to undermining *ANY* sense of accomplishment or success in Iraq.  Tom wants martial law declared during the trial.  I think he’s 100% wrong, I think the fleet will celebrate the idea of trying Baltar.

- Helo is listening to refugee complaints.  A Sagitarron woman seems to be pissed that her son is dead and blames the doctor.  Now she’s going to spread the word that the medicine can’t be trusted.

- Civilian Doc says the boy the woman lost was at least three days sick.  Doc also let’s it slip that Tigh is checking up on Helo.

- Over to the bar, everyone’s chatting about the Sagittarons and the disease, and Chief spouts some seemingly bigoted stuff, but then Dee sort of confirms that it’s not really bigoted, it’s warranted.  Of course when Lee kisses Dee we get a teeny moment of Battlestar 90210 as Starbuck gives them the evil eye.

- Caprica!  Athena is chatting her up and BAM - HeadGaius shows up.  He wants to know why she’s throwing herself on the mercy of humans.  He seems to be here to convince her to not help the humans and to keep RealGaius’ secrets.  Interesting point raised by her imaginary Baltar - he said ‘You’re here because you want to be human.”

That might be sort-of true on some level.  In reality though, it’s not that she wants to be human, and it’s not that RealGaius wants to be a Cylon - it’s that the two of them want to be whatever will allow them to be with the other, because for all her hurt and scorn, she does love Gaius Baltar and he loves her.  Of course, what neither of them are seeing is that there is a perfect example of a “mixed species” couple right in front of them - Helo and Athena are making it work, and if it doesn’t work it will be because they let problems fester instead of working them out - it will NOT be simply because she’s a Cylon and he’s a human.  Gauis and Caprica Six are letting circumstances complicate what should be simple.

Heh...funny that Laura was watching Caprica Six make out with HeadGaius.  I’d love to see more of people trying to figure out what the hell she’s doing, then maybe have them start catching RealGaius talking to and making out with HeadSix.

- Back in the refugee bay the “backward” Sagittarons are all worked up against CivilianDoc.  Helo pulls a gun and shit calms down.  Then we find out Doc has been immunizing against people’s will, and he’s making terrible choices given the fact that there is a VERY limited amount of this drug, and it throws his account of everything else into question.  SmokingDoc makes the ONLY correct point so far - EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE BEEN INNOCULATED AGAINST THEIR WILL.  This is a closed-atmosphere ship and humanity is at stake.  This is well beyond extreme, emergency circumstances.  Anyway.

Adama literally rejects all of Helo’s concerns, and that is so fucking out of character.  Every argument Helo made about CivilianDoc was on point, he didn’t say he was CERTAIN that Doc was doing things wrong, illegally or immorally, he raised valid concerns.  Bill Adama has investigated things with far, far less evidence or reason.  This is stupid.  This is just bad writing.

SmokingDoc has ALWAYS had a good relationship with Bill.  Bill has always listened to him.  Bill always listens to Helo even if he disagrees.  here comes this CivilianDoc, who we have never seen before, and we’re supposed to believe that Tigh and Adama are SO devoted to him that they reject totally reasonable questions from helo and the advice of Doc Cottle, who they have always trusted?  No, this is just to set up that Helo is right and Tigh was wrong (and by extension Adama is wrong as well).  This is just an asinine, lazy piece of writing to set up a conflict.  It’s a pure Deus Ex machina and nothing more.

Helo leaves the room and Tigh follows him out to start yelling at him, until he gets Helo mad enough to punch him in the face.  Looks like the writing is going to get worse and worse...Tigh is literally ready tp throw hands over Doc Roberts’ “good name.” Turns out he’s the guy that fixed Tigh’s eye on new Caprica.  SO?  That doesn’t mean he can’t be making huge mistakes here.  It also doesn’t come close to explaining Adama’s deep and passionate defense of CivilianDoc instead of taking even a moment to consider what Helo was saying.

- Donna has a theory that CivilianDoc is killing Sagittarons intentionally because they didn’t help during the occupation.  She may be right.

- Uh oh.  Hera got sick and they sent her to CivilianDoc.  Doesn’t make sense.  SmokingDoc has clearance, and Hera is a military asset for fuck’s sake.  She shouldn’t be within 20 feet of a civilian doctor.  WHO WROTE THIS GODDAMNED EPISODE?  WHAT THE HELL?  This is so cheap and so lazy.  This is just pathetic, it’s all to set up a conflict between Helo and Tigh/Adama to prove that CivilianDoc is a bad guy.  It’s high-school-level creative writing.  So sad.  It doesn’t matter what the reason, Hera should never, ever be medically examined by anyone without full clearance to know exactly what she is.  I’M NOT STUPID, WRITERS.  I remember the fact that Hera is supposed to be important, and I will remember later, when you all of a sudden need her to be the lynchpin of a story again, how you treated her as just another baby in this episode.  besides, her blood cured fucking cancer.  ADVANCED, systemic cancer.  You’re telling me her Cylon blood couldn’t kick this disease?

Watch your own show, writers.  It helps.

When Helo returns the Sagittaron woman’s son’s bracelet, he asks her why she let the CivilianDoc treat her son if she was warned he was dangerous, and her answer kind of confirms Donna’s theory that the Doc may be doing all of this on purpose.

Helo goes back to his quarters and has a freak-out in front of a laundry-folding Athena.  Sure.  OK.  Then he goes looking for CivilianDoc and when he finds an empty office, he rifles through charts and papers until he finds - predictably, I might add - the smoking gun, a report about how CivilianDoc killed dozens of Sagittarons back on New Caprica.  Like that shit would just be lying around?  It’s weak-ass writing when other shows do it and it’s worse when BSG does it.

SmokingDoc walks in and Helo shows him the evidence.  Of course SmokingDoc doesn’t believe him either.  A 90% mortality rate among only Sagittarons and the Doc doesn’t see anything wrong?

Either this is the worst-written episode of this show EVER or someone is covering something up.

- And now Dee is sick.  She gets a shot - we think.  Sure, of course a member of the military would go all the way to a civilian refugee station to be treated by a civilian doctor instead of going to, you know, THE FUCKING SICK BAY WHERE PEOPLE IN THE MILITARY ALWAYS REPORT WHEN ILL.  The Sagittaron woman who lost her son came to warn Helo about Dee, because of course she saw her, since Dee came to the refugee station instead of, you know, GOING THE FUCKING SICK BAY WHERE PEOPLE IN THE MILITARY ALWAYS REPORT WHEN ILL.  Some of the medicine would OF COURSE be held back by the military establishment to treat essential personnel.  Of course we had that stupid moment where Dee, completely out of left field, talked shit about what a bad doctor Cottle was and how she’d never be treated by him.  See that way we wouldn’t question why a member of the military wasn’t being treated by a military doctor.

Anyway, Helo and Sharon argue about it and it’s another out-of-character moment by shitty writers, because Athena is FAR more compassionate and understanding than most humans.  She would never side with Adama and Tigh and the docs in favor of NOT listening to the Sagittarons.

After the break, Helo is with Dee, who seems to be about a minute or two from death.  Helo is going to take her to Doc Cottle against CivilianDoc’s wishes.  Shit goes haywire and security is about to lay the smack down on Helo.  Just then, we see Saul and company coming down and as it turns out, they are backing Helo.

Doc Cottle outs CivilianDoc’s racist killing spree.  He did the tests AFTER the confrontation with Helo and confirmed everything Helo said.  CivilianDoc is claiming he did it for the rest of the fleet, and goes off on a racist tirade.  Tigh then gives Helo the pleasure of arresting CivilianMassMurderDoc.

Oh look!  Helo wins in the end, and Adama has to apologize to him.  All of a sudden the Old Man is wise again.  “You still have it.” Yeah.  And if the writers were actually writing you in character, Bill, you’d have at least given his original complaint some thought.  This thin “we allowed hate and also hated ourselves” shit doesn’t explain this out-of-left-field character shift just because the people at issue are Sagittarons.  Helo is always right, and while Adama almost never sides with him at first, he has ALWAYS listened to him and thanked him for his input.  he has always treated his opinions as important.

Hey, here’s another thought the lazy asses who wrote this episode never thought of - Helo knows Roslin is religious.  he knows Roslin owes him, BIG TIME.  Why not go to her?  Well, that would involve A: actually writing logically in step with the previous happenings on the show, and B: Adama would immediately see the truth, because Laura always gets through to him.  And that would’ve ruin the big dramatic ending.

I did not enjoy this episode.  Everyone did a great job with what they were given, but the script and story were weak.  Ultimately the Sagittarons were completely wrong to not trust medicine in general, but totally right to not trust that particular doctor.  Nothing was accomplished, no one grew in accomplishment or stature.  About the ONLY change I can see coming out of this episode is that Tigh may respect Helo a bit more.  That’s it.

That’s my $0.02.  How about yours?

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Previously, on Battlestar Galactica - they want us to remember that Starbuck and Apollo are all sorta hot for each other, Baltar’s role as president of New Caprica, the fact that Baltar and SuiciD’eanna entered the temple and either could be the chosen one (IT’S GAIUS!  HE’S THE CHOSEN ONE!) and that he was captured by Tyrol.

The opening sequence seems to be making the point that everyone is not just a soldier or a pilot or a parent or a traitor to all of humanity, but all just people.  Some just more tortured and guilty than others.  Gaius is trying to hang himself, and Gaeta walk in and of course saves him.

Before he’s saved, he imagines he is waking up in a Cylon rebirthing pod.  Clue that he’s not a Cylon?  Beard.  His “Cylon body” wouldn’t be born with a big old bushy beard.  This is just about him wanting to be, as he said, special and gifted.  Gaius needs to be better than others, he’s always had that need.  He’s smart, but he flaunts it way too much.  This fantasy might even have something to do with what he did.  After all, he betrayed the entire human race not once, but twice.  Thinking of himself as special is one of the ways he manages to push that fact to the back of his mind.

Of course, trying to kill yourself often means that you are experiencing some level of guilt, so there’s that.  Not sure that applies to baltar though.  He may have tried to kill himself not over guit, biut over the fact that he truly believed at that moment there was no hope he would ever return to a position where he could be worshiped as “better than.”

- 41,403 survivors currently in the fleet.  Last week we lost one person, but they picked up Hera and Baltar.  Interesting - if that is why the number changed - that they are counting Hera, who is half toaster, but are not counting CapricaSix, and we can only guess if they are counting Athena or not.  I’m assuming they are since she wears a uniform.  Are they counting survivors?  Or are we just counting fleet members now, which explains counting Athena and Hera but not CapricaSix.

- Flight deck crew built an entire lounge!  A bar, tables, pool, the whole nine yards.  Of course they need this.  I can’t believe that Galactica didn’t have a more developed off-duty lounge before now.

- The Power Crew (Adama, Laura, Tigh and this time the Doc and Gaeta) have decided to force-feed Jesus Baltar.

- Lee and Dee are so not working.  Battlestar 90210, y’all!

- Let’s get back to Jesus Baltar, shall we?  Laura shows him exactly the same level of kindness he showed her when she was detained on New Caprica and he brought her her glasses - which of course the producers decided to show us, since we’re too dumb to make the connection ourselves.  *cough* This show has turned to spoon-feeding me more and more over the last two seasons, and I wish they’d stop.

Anyway...Roslin is making it clear that there is not going to be any distinction between what he did on New Caprica and what the Cylons did.  I’m not certain that is entirely fair, but Gaius is 100% a traitor to all of humanity, so how can I feel anything close to pity for him?  Then of course he flat-out lies to Laura about his collusion with the Cylons to bring down the defense grid.

Amazing how fast and how far he can delude himself.  Laura gets absolutely angry, as angry as she has EVER been on this show, and she seems to decide that enough is enough.  When Gaius won;t show remorse for the deaths on New Caprica, she decides to have Tigh throw him out an airlock.  He passes through the hall of missing people, and in order to save himself, launches into a diatribe about this one photo - it’s a man who was his lab assistant on Caprica.  He cries and screams that he would never do anything to harm that man or his family, or anybody’s family - but the entire time you and I know that Gaius Baltar is in fact responsible for allowing the Cylons access to the Colonial defense grid, and is likely the human who is most responsible for the attempted xenocide of the human race.  No one outside of the Cylons themselves bears any more repsonibility in the murder of billions and billions of lives than Gaius Baltar.

And yet, from that hallway performance, it’s easy to believe that for at least that moment, he truly believed he was innocent.  He’s either the best actor ever or he believed it at that moment.

- Power Crew decides to use some drug torture on Gaius...to inspire a state of anxiety that is so intense the subject fears for his life, then interrogators become friendly in order to get information.  I’m OK with that.  He collaborated in the murder of a few billion people

- Kara and Anders talk about her destiny.  i thought it was going to be Battlestar 90210, but it actually advances the idea that she has a supernatural destiny.  Of course there’s some 90210 in it when they talk about her loving Lee.  Of course that brings up to Lee/Dee 90210, where Lee goes bastard and turns ot around on her and tries to make Dee that bad guy in their relationship.  Sam and Dee both told their respective spouses to to go the love of their lives.  Yay!  Brenda and Dylan might be together after all!  From now on, Lee and Starbuck are Brenda and Dylan.

- Woohoo!  Time to torture Gaius.  Laura seems to have the teeniest bit of regret, but she gets over that awful damn fast.  Adama is all ‘bout it ‘bout it.  Old Man’s gonna torture that fey bastard until he talks.  :)

Interesting.  Baltar’s worst anxiety seems to start off as complete lack of sensory input.  That plays right into his need to be superior, to be special - the lack of a crowd worshipping him, or at least one individual telling him that God has chosen him is - at least in the beginning of this torture experiment - the thing that produces the most anxiety in him.

- 9021Galactica, yo!  Brenda asked Dylan that if she leaves her man, will he leave his woman?  He looked at her with a cocked eyebrow and then got on his motorcycle and left the Peach Pit.  No agreement was made.

- Back to Jesus Baltar, and he’s admitting to collaboration with the Cylons on Caprica, but in the usual Baltar style, he’s splitting hairs and saying that since he did not intend to conspire, he bears no responsibility.  Bull.  Shit.

- Previously, on Battlestar 90210, Dylan was commiserating with Brandon (Chief Tyrol) about how hard marriage is.  It’s not, really, when you just marry the woman you love and not the woman who is closest that will say yes, Lee.  I mean Dylan.  Chief’s got a whole other set of issues, he has a kid, and he once punched his wife’s face up so hard, she looked like John Merril.

- We’re back asking Gaius about his Cylon activities.  He’s cluing the humans in to the existence of the Final Five.  Every time I type that I think it’s a new college basketball tournament.  He seems to have come to grips with the fact that he’s not a cylon at this point.  He might also be willing himself to die…

- Uh-oh!  Dylan threw a tantrum and ripped up his beach house!  You know, because he’s all confused about Brenda and stuff!  OK, Lee dropped his wedding ring in the hall and freaked out and threw some stuff around, but it’s just so much more fun to call them Brenda and Dylan!

Aside - I know I am mocking the heavy emphasis on personal relationship, and in great part, Battlestar galactica has always been about these relationships.  What I am really trying to say here is we’ve lost a lot of the action that made this such a great dramatic and scifi series.  Now it’s mostly just drama - in space.  A little bit more activity would not kill us at this point.

Another aside: the show is rapidly cutting back and forth between the whole Lee/Kara angle and the Gaius story, and it kind of cheapens the import and impact of the Gaius story.  Donna put it right, she said to me that “I realize we’re talking about two themes of betrayal here, but one of them is the betrayal of the human race, and one is the betrayal of a spouse.  They really are different.” I agree, and I would add that we’re also now talking about the betrayal of the trust of a Cylon collaborator and perhaps the person thought to be the most evil human in the fleet.  Anyway, I’m going to write each event as though the segments were shown together, otherwise I’m going to go crazy.

- 90210 - Lee and Dee are in the bar.  DylanLee is telling Dee that he does love her, and that he did love Kara.  Lie number 1.  Lie number 2: He needs Dee and not Kara.  Kara and Anders walk in.  Dylan has to stare at Brenda.  Meanwhile Kara and Anders are putting on a big show on the bar.  She’s doing that drunk Starbuck laugh, hanging all over Anders, and Dylan, who just professed to his new girl that he’s totally all about her, can’t stop watching Brenda sitting at the Peach Pit counter, drinking her milkshake and laughing with some new guy she’s with.  Oh, the humanity!

- Roslin is going to do the same thing to Gaius that the Cylons did when he was on the base star - make him believe that if he collaborates with Galactica, he’ll be spared.  Gaius is ultimately afraid of dying above all else, and it seems that everyone can see that, human and Cylon alike.  Gaius only cares about Gaius.

Gaeta is trying to get Baltar to help by promising him some kind of unspoken mercy.  It seems to work, as Gaius starts helping with the math on the search for earth.  Then Gaeta makes a solid offer - Baltar’s life, some decent quarters...some semblance of a life.  For some reason I cannot figure out, the presence of a camera ruins the whole ploy?  Why?  Why wouldn’t Gaius assume he was being monitored 24/7?  Anyway, it seems to piss him off and he accuses Gaeta of betraying him.  More Jesus references!  Gaeta is now Judas.  Gaius actually makes somewhat of a point here though.  Gaeta played both sides on new Caprica, but Baltar did it with a gun to his head.  Does that make Gaeta a traitor as well?  Does it make him worse than Baltar?  I say no.  Baltar had choices all the way down the line up until the Cylons came to New Caprica - his only real concern was saving his own life, whereas Gaeta was risking his by feeding the resistance information.  Baltar even tries to take credit for that, then leans in to whisper something to Gaeta.  Whatever he said, it made Gaeta stab Gaius in the neck.  He missed the artery, though.  I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.  It’s certainly a good thing for him, since his recuperation in the hospital means that HeadSix gets to slink around him in her hot-ass red dress.  So I guess that’s also good for me.  :)

Adama points out to Laura that in Baltar’s eyes, Baltar is always the victim.  While that is technically true some of the time, it only excuses so much, and while Gaius may be able to excuse each individual action with an excuse of victimization, after awhile one has to notice a pattern, that Gaius is always the victim and never the aggressor.  He is always acted upon, and never the actor.  He’s never, to his mind, done anything that was truly evil or wrong.  We, the viewer, know that is false, however.  I can point to one example that proves him wrong: he lied about the Cylon detector when no outside force was prompting him to do so.

I believe now that HeadSix is a figment of Gaius’ imagination.  She is the worship he craves.  The one who tells him he’s special, that God has chosen him.  She’s the one who strokes his ego.  She also punishes him when he feels like he deserves it, which of course is whenever he’s doing something he knows is traitorous.  When he lied about the Cylon detector, it was because he wanted to keep a secret, to have power and control over the situation.  Remember, back then EVERYONE treated him like shit.  He was low man on the totem pole on Galactica.  He was never consulted, but always ordered.  By withholding the information about who was and wasn’t a Cylon, he retained some control even if he was the only one who knew it.  And that, given what happens later, makes him evil.

Another example: He gave PegasusSix a goddamned nuclear bomb that killed how many thousands of humans?  Evil, and all his fault.

- We end with Laura deciding that Gaius will get his trial.  That oughtta be good…

So who else noticed the 42 million little references to Jesus in this episode?  You can’t tell me that was all inadvertent.  I’m not sure how we’re supposed to reconcile Baltar as Jesus, but they clearly want us to think of him that way.

MVP of the episode: James Callis.  His portrayal of Gaius Baltar is simply amazing.  Olmos did a pretty good job directing, by the way.

*UPDATE*

Definitely watch this week’s deleted scene at SciFi.com.  It’s pertinent.  You’ll need Flash.

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We left off with Adama threatening to nuke the surface of the temple planet.  We pick up exactly there.

- Basestar: The Cylon models on their base star all disagree with a D’Eanna and want the raiders called back, they believe Adama will do it. 

At the same time, Lee is ordering his wife to go rescue Kara.  Hoo boy.  That’s gonna be an issue at the next double date between the Adamas and the Anders’, eh?

- Basestar: D’eanna refuses to obey the group decision.  She says Adama won’t launch against one ship, and she’s right.  The act of her defiance troubles the rest of the Cylon models, as it should.  Being right isn’t always a defense.  Sometimes it just makes you a target.

- Galactica: Meanwhile, back in soap opera land, Athena is asking Helo to kill her so she can resurrect and rescue her daughter.  I’m assuming now that she fully and completely believes that Hera is alive and HOLY SHIT he just fracking shot her.  No build-up or nothing.  Jesus.  Theme music.

- Galactica: Helo killing Sharon has implications far beyond the action of wanting to rescue Hera.  Adama and Rosalin both remind Helo that Sharon has a tremendous amount of information that could harm the fleet, and that’s of course true.

Helo stands up to Laura and reminds her that is she hadn’t lied and stolen their baby in the first place, none of them would be here.  He’s right...Laura pushes the Lady of Iron thing too far sometimes, and this moment was one of them.  Instead of reacting with a single ounce of remorse or even simply owning the mistake she made, she gave a half-hearted nod at her own responsibility and then barked at both Helo and Adama that Sharon better be worth the trust they’ve put in her.  I love Laura, but she either needs to get laid or slapped across the face.

- Basestar: Sharon comes awake in a new body, and a Six is there to help her.  Athena tells the Six she now believes that the baby, and Sharon, will be safer with the Cylons and it seems like Six is buying it.

- Planetside: Anders and Lee are planning a rescue on Kara’s position...seems like they think it’s kind of a suicide mission, which implies Lee sent his wife on even more of a suicide mission being as she’s out there with just one dude - who just died.  Yoinks.

- Planetside: BaltarJesus and SuiciD’eanna are down on the planet yapping away about destiny and seeing the face of both God and the final five Cylon models, and HeadSix reminds Gaius that he’s the chosen one, not SuiciD’eanna.  A-DUH!

- Planetside: Guerilla Lee and his merry band of fighters are going up against a squad of chrome jobs.  Even though Lee and Anders are basically enemies, they really do make a good team when it comes to fighting.  The dynamic seems to drive each of them to out-do the other one.

Oh my the CGI on that half-cylon that got shot in the head was awful.  I mean it was truly terrible.  It looked like it belonged on Youtube, not a professional TV show.

- Planetside: Finally we get to see what’s up with Starbuck.  She’s about to be rescued by Dee.  She’s all messed up, but that’s really not new for Starbuck, right?

“Lee sent you?”
“That’s right, my husband ordered me to risk my life to save yours, so that;s what I’m gonna do.  I’m gonna bring Starbuck back to Apollo.” Ouch.

- Basestar: Athena says the Hera’s belly is hard as a rock, and she needs a human doctor.  She’s not even trying a trick, she;s just flat out saying she needs to go back to galactica, and the Sharon on the basestar threatens to kill the baby.  What I think is CapricaSix kills her in order to save Hera, as she believes the baby is the future of both Cylon and human.  So we have multiple Cylons running rogue as individuals now.

- Planetside: Tyrol can’t decipher the writing in the temple, so Lee radios in that it’s time to go and blow the temple.  I’m saying blowing it will set off whatever is supposed to happen.  A giant beam of something, a huge “FOLLOW ME TOWARDS EARTH” sign will shoot out of the top of the temple, and the charges will set that off just as sure as following whatever directions are written in there.

- Planetside: Back at the saga of The Ladies of Apollo, the raptor is almost able to fly, but Starbuck isn’t.  “He won’t cheat, he’s too honorable.” Umm...he already has, he’s not fracking honorable at all.

- Planetside: SuiciD’eanna, Gauis, a Six and a priest all walk into a bar. (rimshot) Or the temple, and find the explosives.  meanwhile, a few hundred yards away, Chief doesn’t blow the temple, I guess he’s struck by the whole religious aspect and just can’t.  The Cylons manage to remove all the detonators.  It might be a blessing in disguise.  As the sun goes nova, somehow that points the way.  Perhaps the temple isn’t anything more than someone writing that down?  It’s just a big Post-It Note?

- Planetside: Back at My Two Wives, the girls are flying the frack out of there.

- Planetside: SuiciD’Eanna is pretty whacked out with the need to look upon the faces of the final five.  As the Brother whosihisface is about to shoot her, Gaius shoots him and the rays from ther nova enter the temple...Five figures bathed in white appear.  I assume that these are supposed to be the final five Cylons, but how?  This isn’t a Cylon facility.  I’m thoroughly confused.  Is she imagining this?  Could she simply be seeing what she wanted to see bathed in all that light and radiation from the star exploding?

She stops at one of the hooded figures.  “You.  Forgive me I had no idea.  So we obviously know one of them.  And FLASH - it was just a vision.  Was it real?  She dies telling JesusBaltar that he was right, but not about what. Which proceeds to drive him mad for about three seconds, until…

OK, here’s a theory - all Cylons know the final five models, it’s hard-coded in their “DNA” they just don’t know that they know.  Somehow the act of being in that radiation triggered her knowledge, and since she’s a Cylon and can manufacture her own visual reality, she saw it as this profound religious moment.  Whattya think?

- Planetside: Tyrol just captured Baltar by knocking him the fuck out.  Oh shit.  That’s bad for Gaius.  Really bad.  “Welcome home Mr. President.”

- Galactica: The Cylon fleet just took off.  The shock wave from the nova is about to destroy the planet.  Will our intrepid heroes make it back to Galactica in time?  Of course they will.  The Old Man has willed it so!  But what about Athena and Hera?

- Galactica: Heh...they smuggled Baltar back onto Galactica in a body bag.  I suppose it would have been a frigging lynch mob if the hangar deck found out who they had on board.

- Galactica: Oh Christ.  Starbuck actually was glad to see Anders and sort of collapsed onto him.  Frigging Lee see this, and only then does he rush toward poor Dee and embrace her, while he stares at Kara the whole time.  WEAK.  Lee Adama is a big fat pussy of a man.  Dee should whip his ass then divorce him.

- Galactica: Another raptor opens and Sharon and Hera step out.  Holy frack, CapricaSix came along!  Hmm.  Gaius and CapricaSix still on the same ship.  Interesting.

- Galactica: The CIC crew decides that this nova is not actually the one that the temple is about.  Seems there was another one 4000 years ago, and Adama posits that the temple is just a roadsign.  So I guess if you take off in the direction of that old nova, you’re headed toward Earth, eh?

- Galactica: Starbuck is a Cylon.  That’s why she can’t fracking die, she’s the best shot, the best pilot, the best drinker and an emotional mess.  She’s a gods-damned fracking Cylon.  She’s a sleeper...when Helo asked her if she still had pictures of her old apartment I was liek ‘why the hell does he care” but - she painted the nova.

No, wait that’s stupid.  She can’t be a Cylon.  This is stupid.  The temple is 4000 years old.  It’s not a Cylon relic, it’s a human relic.  So what does Kara painting the eye really mean?  Is she a reincarnation of some ancient warrior or leader or prophet?  We know that in this world prophets can and do exist - is she a modern prophet?

Another reason she can’t be a Cylon - the whole “kidnap her for her womb” thing.  They wouldn’t have bothered, they needed a human womb.  They held her for days and did tests, and even if the final five Cylons are unknown, they are all still made of the same genetic material, and the medical doctor Cylon guy from Caprica would have known that Kara wasn’t human Duh.  Dumb idea, Kara’s not a Cylon.

She said the pattern was something she’d been doodling since she was a kid.

- Basestar: SuiciD’eanna wakes up, and Brother Cavil informs her that her model is fundamentally flawed.  Uh-oh!  She’s gonna get boxed!  Remember the discussion between the models on Caprica about what happens to consciousnesses that aren’t “right?” They lock ‘em away, like copying them onto a thumbdrive and throwing it in a drawer.  She is willing to go it seems, content that she’s seen the faces of the other five and that some day the others will too.  It ended with a cool shot of a resurrection chamber.

SO...questions!

What will SaltySeaDog do to Baltar when no one is looking?  You know he’s gonna have to punch the guy in the face a few times, maybe shock the old testes with the battery from a Viper or something.

What will Adama and Laura decide to do with CapricaSix?  Since Athena have proven her loyalty, it opens the door to trusting CapricaSix if she’s willing to turn on her kind.  If she is, will she also plead for mercy for Gaius, will she tell them how they put a gun to Gaius’ head to force him to do things, or will she play the woman scorned?  Remember, Baltar essentially dumped her for SuiciD’eanna, and that’s gotta leave a mark.  Can Athena get CapricaSix to talk?  Can she get information from her against CapricaSix’s will?  How does that whole info transfer thing really work?

And what the hell is Hera really, something important or just a symbol?

Also, will Dee finally kick Lee in the balls and tell him to go frack himself?  Here’s to hoping.

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