Gift cards are not gifts…my ass they aren’t

I kinda wanna punch this chick.

Holidays have rapidly devolved into what amounts to an exchange of cash. A gift card says nothing about the personality of the recipient—but it says lots about the giver.

Gift cards are incredibly popular. They’re also an oxymoron.

Think about it. Would a lover, in the flush of romance, lean close to the object of his affection and present . . . a gift card? Would proud grandparents present the latest addition to the family with . . . a gift card? Would your best and closest friend, the one you’ve known for years, who’s stuck with you through the roller-coaster ride of life, walk into your hospital room and give you . . . a gift card?

(If the answer to any of those questions is yes, by the way, you need to start hanging with a better class of people.)

That immediately made me think of a four-letter word that rhymes with “bunt.” Fuck you, you judgmental bitch.  I happen to like getting cash or gift cards.  No one knows what I want better than me.  I enjoy shopping as much as anyone without a vagina can, and I enjoy it all the more if it’s not my money I’m shopping with.  I also enjoy one or two surprises, like a book someone thinks I might like or a piece of kitchen gear.  For example, the best gift my mother-in-law got me ever was a saucepan with a strainer lid on it.  Heavy cast bottom, non-stick, I frigging use it for everything.  It;s not what I asked for, but she saw it and thought “He’ll be able to use that” and she was right.  However, my favorite gift that the in-laws ever got us was cash to help us buy our Series 3 TiVo.  I think that for my birthday this past year, I didn’t even pretend I wanted a gift.  Cash please.  I know what to spend it on.

I assume Liz Pulliam Weston (Jesus, could that name be more pretentious?  I suppose if she went by Elizabeth Pulliam Weston it would be more pretentious) would be horrified at cash.  Surely that is far more gauche than even the lowly gift card?

This year I asked Donna to get me one specific thing.  If she ONLY buys this one thing, I will be happy as a clam.  Are clams happy?  Hard to tell.  I certainly will be happy, and if I didn’t have Amazon to which I could point her, I would simply tell her that I was going to go buy it myself and she could stick her name on a card.  I’m sure Ms. Manners would be aghast at such thoughtlessness.  Not only is my rude wife not spending hours and weeks agonizing over a gift, here I am depriving her of the act of potentially getting me something I don’t give two figs about!

I may be wandering off the point a bit.  Gift cards rock, is what I am trying to say.  I know better than anyone else what I want.

Some people, apparently, would be delighted with that prospect. While researching party themes for my daughter’s upcoming celebration, I stumbled across a posting by a woman who proudly included the horrifying words “monetary gifts would be much appreciated” on her 3-year-old child’s invitations. She went on to explain that “I wanted money as gifts for my daughter’s savings and for us to buy bigger toys, like a big kitchen and a Barbie Jeep that she wanted, instead of guests giving her small toys.”

It’s official. Shame is dead.

Yeah, fuck those parents!  How DARE they assume they know what their child wants!  How DARE they not want their home littered with useless shit the kid won’t care about a day later!  How DARE they teach a child about saving for a larger want!  THOSE SHAMELESS BASTARDS!  They must be shunned.  Shunned I tell you!

I say you give a person what they want or need, not what you want them to have.  That says a lot about a person, in my ever-so-humble opinion.  Liz Pulliam Weston seems like the kind of person that gives you what she think you ought to have, not something you want or need.

Screw her.  If gift cards make your gift recipients happy, then do it.  Don’t ever listen to some pretentious old (in thought if not in years) biddy trying to make herself relevant by butting in to your holiday.

(I tried to continue this post, as I am quite sure I would have more to say to this busybody pretentious cow, but the site refuses to load page 2 of the article.  Here’s a tip for all you commercial sites out there; STOP PAGINATING EVERYTHING JUST TO RAISE PAGEVIEWS.  Unless of course your site actually frigging works.

Maybe someone needs to send a few gift cards to the webmaster at MSN.)

*UPDATE*

Page 2 finally loaded.  More of same.

If you find yourself purchasing gift cards, maybe the solution is to buy less and think more.

Maybe the real solution is you stop trying to make everyone feel inferior and just shut your face before someone kicks you in it, Jackie Chan style.  HIYAAAAAA!  Bitch.

Posted by JimK at 03:09 PM on December 12, 2007
Permalink | Trackbacks (0) | Email to a friend

Categories: Shopping,  Personal,  Things To Ponder
Tags: holidays Liz Pulliam Weston

Random shopping/cooking post

I found the following a bit of a comment on why brick & mortar is ultimately doomed.  It will take a long time, mainly due to Wal-Mart’s power.  But brick & mortar will die.

I’ve been looking for more cast iron pans.  I have a great old one that is seasoned just right.  About 20 years old now, i think, but it’s 8” and I have to do mushrooms like 6 at a time in it.  I want a grill pan and a 12” skillet...so i hit bed Bath & Beyond and they have no Lodge cookware.

No.  Lodge.  Iron.  It was all Emeril’s branded iron, and it was rough.  The casts looked cheap and awful.  No amount of seasoning would smooth that out.  Plus they were $29.99 a pop for the 12” pans.  No.  The 10” square grill pans were also $29.99.

Amazon has the Lodge Logic 12” pre-seasoned skillet for $18.58 with free shipping.  If you want to finish it yourself with peanut oil and the oven, you can get the unseasoned for $15.25.  The 10" square grill pan is $19.99 at Amazon with free shipping.

Let me recap: These two pans - inferior versions, I might add, would cost me $63.57 with tax at the only place around here that has a decent cookware selection.  At Amazon, I paid $44.56 plus I got two hot handle holders.

Amazon beats brick & mortar, at least in this case.

Posted by JimK at 10:34 PM on April 03, 2007
Permalink | Trackbacks (0) | Email to a friend

Categories: Shopping,  Other
Tags: lodge iron pans online shopping

Bargain hunter - PQI 4GB CompactFlash Memory Card

I own this PQI 4GB CF card and it’s very very reliable and very fast.  I use it in the Nikon D70 and it is faster than the camera can write.  Real-world transfer speeds compare with a Sandisk Ultra II.  Supermediastore is selling it right now for $45.99 and free ground shipping.

They also have the 8GB version for $113.99.  I’ve only seen one other brand cheaper than this, and that’s Transcend, but the last time I bought a Transcend card it was slow and got hot in any device.  PQI has been pretty good to me so far.  No affiliation, just a great deal if you’re in the market for a larger card.  BTW, I’ve been buying media and memory from Supermediastore for years and never had any problems, in case you’ve never heard of them.  Well, one problem.  They still use shipping peanuts and those things get EVERYWHERE.  Other than that I love the place.  :)

Posted by JimK at 02:42 PM on February 20, 2007
Permalink | Trackbacks (0) | Email to a friend

Categories: Shopping,  Other,  Technobabble (Technology)
Tags: bargains cf memory PQI

For the Jack Bauer fan in your life

If I didn’t already have a messenger bag I’d be tempted.

Posted by JimK at 09:53 AM on December 18, 2006
Permalink | Trackbacks (1) | Email to a friend

Categories: Shopping,  Television,  24,  Other
Tags: 24 Jack Bauer messenger bag

Be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed

I so so SO want this if I ever build a dedicated home theater.

Forged of metal and power, the Vader 6 oz. Popcorn Popper will satisfy the hunger needs of any sized squadron.

Or one me.  $1,099.  Worth every penny.

Posted by JimK at 04:32 AM on February 02, 2006
Permalink | Trackbacks (0) | Email to a friend

Categories: Shopping,  Other
Tags: Star Wars Darth Vader Home Theater

Pseudo-intellectual knee-jerk liberalism results in stupidity

You want proof?  The left side of the political aisle is agog at something they discovered in Wal-Mart’s database.

The problem is that when one searched on a certain MLK bio or the film Dorothy Dandridge or the box set for Planet of the Apes, the other items were recommended.  The MLK stuff was bloviated over at Kos’, but I don’t link that cesspool.  You’ll have to trust me.  So what does this mean?

OH MY GOD CLEARLY WAL-MART IS SAYING BLACK PEOPLE ARE ALL MONKEYS.

Or…

All three items have the same theme: racism.  All three items are in fact relevant to one another.  If one was interested in seeing something about MLK’s work, one might also enjoy Dorothy Dandridge.  Any moron who doesn’t know that racism is the central premise behind Planet of the Apes deserves to get punched in the head.

This is pseudo-hippy faux outrage.  They want to get all worked up into a tizzy and prove how evil Wal-Mart is.  It’s complete and utter bullshit.  To a computer, those three things all have the same theme; racism.  It makes perfect reasonable sense that they’d be grouped as recommendations.  It’s not like Wal-Mart had a board meeting to declare all black people monkeys. 

In fact...who are the real racists here?  The computer algorithm that correctly identified all these items as having a central theme of racism, or the outraged lefties who immediately connected Dorothy Dandridge and MLK to apes?

It’s little things like this that show me that the “reality-based community” is anything but.

Wal-Mart is blaming this on a “random” glitch.  I doubt very much that it was random.  I think the computer program did exactly what it was supposed to do: recognized that these films dealt with racism and physical abuse (all three items in the linked article have both as thematic elements).  Wal-Mart should have told these people to frig off.  My corporate response would have been “We’re sorry you immediately connected media about African-Americans to apes, but the fact is our recommendations algorithm correctly identified racism as the central theme to all the items you are complaining about, with physical abuse as a sub-theme.  It is our sincere belief that you’re an idiot, and you should immediately kiss our collective asses.  Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.”

Posted by JimK at 09:54 AM on January 06, 2006
Permalink | Trackbacks (0) | Email to a friend

Categories: Shopping,  Entertainment,  Other,  The Stupidity Of Man
Tags: Wal-Mart

Hell of a deal on Firefly DVDs

Found via Digg...Walmart is selling the Firefly box set for $19.86 plus shipping.  That’s much cheaper than anyone else.  I guess that whole evil thing Wal-Mart has going on really does translate to lower prices for us!  Go the Ghost of Sam Walton!

Posted by JimK at 01:00 AM on December 29, 2005
Permalink | Trackbacks (0) | Email to a friend

Categories: Shopping,  Entertainment,  Other
Tags: Firefly

Merry Christmas to me

So, who wants to be Santa for me this year?  ;)

Posted by JimK at 09:01 PM on December 17, 2005
Permalink | Trackbacks (0) | Email to a friend

Categories: Shopping,  Other,  Personal,  Blegging
Tags: Christmas gifts Amazon wishlist

Have yourself a Bill O’Reilly Christmas…

...And tell lots of lies
from now on,
the truth will wear a sad disguise…

Bill O’Reilly yesterday absurdly — and falsely — claimed that Sears won’t use the word “Christmas” in its advertising, but the front page advertising on its web page has right on it the words

“we wish you a merry christmas”

above a link to the Sears “Chrismas Shop”. Let me say that again. Its Chrismas Shop.

The full article, while not spelling Christmas correctly ;), definitely spells out just how Christmas-sy Sears is...as Greg put it:

Will someone please get the word out? You can’t turn around in Sears without running into “Merry Christmas.”

Got it.  Sears = Christmas like a muh-fugga.  See also: O’Reilly’s a tool.  Stop paying attention to him.  I’m talking to you, my fellow right-leaning peeps.  The man has a Powerpoint-deep education on any given subject.  Stop watching him.  Let him die on the vine like the vegetable he is.

Hat tip: Ace of Spades (I sing it like Lemme every time I see the site name in my Firefox tab.  “The ayce of spay-ades, the ayce of spay-ades...")

Posted by JimK at 03:21 PM on December 05, 2005
Permalink | Trackbacks (0) | Email to a friend

Categories: Shopping,  Other,  The Fourth Estate,  The Stupidity Of Man
Tags: Bill O'Reilly Christmas Sears

A company to avoid

Hell of a story here…

At this point I thanked him and informed him that I would be writing an article about my experience with his company. It was at this point that he went ballistic. He first told me that if I did this that he would not cancel my order but just never fill it. If I cancelled it he said he’d charge me a 15% restocking fee. When I told him that that would be unethical he went nuts. He accused me of trying to “extort” him and said that he was going to have two local police officers come over and arrest me. He then went on to say that as a “professional photographer” I should have known better than to try and buy a camera this way and that he was an attorney and would sue me if I wrote an article about my experience.

He told me that I had no idea who I was dealing with and that as he had my work contact info that he was going to call both my immediate supervisor and the CEO of my company and tell them that I was trying to extort him.

“I will take this very personally,” he said. He claimed to have recorded our phone call and said that he would make sure that I would “never be able to order anything on the internet again.”

The company?  PriceRitePhoto, a.k.a. C&A Marketing and TheCameraMall.com in Brooklyn, New York.  Stay away.

Posted by JimK at 06:10 AM on November 30, 2005
Permalink | Trackbacks (0) | Email to a friend

Categories: Shopping,  Other
Tags: PriceRitePhoto TheCameraMall.com C&A; Marketing shopping scam photography