Wed, 12 Dec 2007 15:09:00
Gift cards are not gifts…my ass they aren’t
I kinda wanna punch this chick.
Holidays have rapidly devolved into what amounts to an exchange of cash. A gift card says nothing about the personality of the recipient—but it says lots about the giver.
Gift cards are incredibly popular. They’re also an oxymoron.
Think about it. Would a lover, in the flush of romance, lean close to the object of his affection and present . . . a gift card? Would proud grandparents present the latest addition to the family with . . . a gift card? Would your best and closest friend, the one you’ve known for years, who’s stuck with you through the roller-coaster ride of life, walk into your hospital room and give you . . . a gift card?
(If the answer to any of those questions is yes, by the way, you need to start hanging with a better class of people.)
That immediately made me think of a four-letter word that rhymes with “bunt.” Fuck you, you judgmental bitch. I happen to like getting cash or gift cards. No one knows what I want better than me. I enjoy shopping as much as anyone without a vagina can, and I enjoy it all the more if it’s not my money I’m shopping with. I also enjoy one or two surprises, like a book someone thinks I might like or a piece of kitchen gear. For example, the best gift my mother-in-law got me ever was a saucepan with a strainer lid on it. Heavy cast bottom, non-stick, I frigging use it for everything. It;s not what I asked for, but she saw it and thought “He’ll be able to use that” and she was right. However, my favorite gift that the in-laws ever got us was cash to help us buy our Series 3 TiVo. I think that for my birthday this past year, I didn’t even pretend I wanted a gift. Cash please. I know what to spend it on.
I assume Liz Pulliam Weston (Jesus, could that name be more pretentious? I suppose if she went by Elizabeth Pulliam Weston it would be more pretentious) would be horrified at cash. Surely that is far more gauche than even the lowly gift card?
This year I asked Donna to get me one specific thing. If she ONLY buys this one thing, I will be happy as a clam. Are clams happy? Hard to tell. I certainly will be happy, and if I didn’t have Amazon to which I could point her, I would simply tell her that I was going to go buy it myself and she could stick her name on a card. I’m sure Ms. Manners would be aghast at such thoughtlessness. Not only is my rude wife not spending hours and weeks agonizing over a gift, here I am depriving her of the act of potentially getting me something I don’t give two figs about!
I may be wandering off the point a bit. Gift cards rock, is what I am trying to say. I know better than anyone else what I want.
Some people, apparently, would be delighted with that prospect. While researching party themes for my daughter’s upcoming celebration, I stumbled across a posting by a woman who proudly included the horrifying words “monetary gifts would be much appreciated” on her 3-year-old child’s invitations. She went on to explain that “I wanted money as gifts for my daughter’s savings and for us to buy bigger toys, like a big kitchen and a Barbie Jeep that she wanted, instead of guests giving her small toys.”
It’s official. Shame is dead.
Yeah, fuck those parents! How DARE they assume they know what their child wants! How DARE they not want their home littered with useless shit the kid won’t care about a day later! How DARE they teach a child about saving for a larger want! THOSE SHAMELESS BASTARDS! They must be shunned. Shunned I tell you!
I say you give a person what they want or need, not what you want them to have. That says a lot about a person, in my ever-so-humble opinion. Liz Pulliam Weston seems like the kind of person that gives you what she think you ought to have, not something you want or need.
Screw her. If gift cards make your gift recipients happy, then do it. Don’t ever listen to some pretentious old (in thought if not in years) biddy trying to make herself relevant by butting in to your holiday.
(I tried to continue this post, as I am quite sure I would have more to say to this busybody pretentious cow, but the site refuses to load page 2 of the article. Here’s a tip for all you commercial sites out there; STOP PAGINATING EVERYTHING JUST TO RAISE PAGEVIEWS. Unless of course your site actually frigging works.
Maybe someone needs to send a few gift cards to the webmaster at MSN.)
*UPDATE*
Page 2 finally loaded. More of same.
If you find yourself purchasing gift cards, maybe the solution is to buy less and think more.
Maybe the real solution is you stop trying to make everyone feel inferior and just shut your face before someone kicks you in it, Jackie Chan style. HIYAAAAAA! Bitch.
Posted by JimK at 03:09 PM on December 12, 2007
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Categories: Shopping, Personal, Things To Ponder
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Technorati: holidays Liz Pulliam Weston
Comments:
#2 Posted by gcanter 
on 12/12 at 05:25 PM -
You are definitely right on this Jim. Plus, most gift cards can be used to shop online nowadays, which make them even more convenient than cash…
#3 Posted by Astronomizer on 12/12 at 05:55 PM -
I agree. In fact, I just had this conversation today with one of my best friends:
Me: “Dude, what do you want for Christmas? I’ve been wracking my brain but I don’t want to get you some stupid thing that’s useless.”
Friend: “Hell I don’t care--how about some gift card or something---have you been in that new kitchen store? I had no idea what to get you either---and maybe we can just buy each other lunch sometime.”
Me: “Cool. Done deal.”
Mizz Lizzie Pulliam Weston is probably one of those people who thinks Santa shouldn’t be fat…
#4 Posted by aretak on 12/12 at 06:04 PM -
She seems to think gift cards are impersonal, when in fact they are not. Most of my Christmas shopping I just get Gift Cards, but I do put some thought in it.
For example, my dad and step-mom like Red Lobster/Olive Garden, but cannot always afford to go. So I buy them each a $50 gift card to Olive Garden and since Olive Garden ownsRed Lobster as well, they can choose which one to goto.
Another example, I have a sister and a brother that live out of state. This year I decided to buy them gift cards. For my sister, $25 dollars from Target and for my brother $25 for Home Depot. I chose the gift cards based on what their hobbies are and where they usually shop.
Like you said, the know what they want more than I do.
Hell, when I am asked what I want for Christmas I say Circuit City gift cards. Last year I recieved about $200 from all family memebers and I bought the Sony DVD/CD player with the 400 capacity carosele. If I bought on my owne, it would cost $400, but was able to save $200 because of the gift cards.
I guess what I am saying is gift cards rule! Screw her.
#5 Posted by mgnmfrc1 on 12/12 at 06:18 PM -
Yeah, what a bunt! Who uses all three names anyway? Murderers and pretentious assholes. Gift cards are the best gift for me from the inlaws. How else can you buy someone a nice dinner somewhere? Gift certificates are just old school gift cards. You can refill a Starbucks card each month and give all year long.
Last year I recieved about $200 from all family memebers and I bought the Sony DVD/CD player with the 400 capacity carosele. If I bought on my owne, it would cost $400, but was able to save $200 because of the gift cards.
Damn straight! It’s like them going in on something big I really want!
You’re giving spending money at a specific location which took some effort and thought.
Bite me beyotch.
#6 Posted by supercore 
on 12/12 at 08:48 PM -
I know that for me, I always appreciate a gift I can use more than another quote-a-day calendar for my desk. As long as thought is put into the card itself (Home Depot for Dad, Petite Sophisticate for Mom, A BX card for the brother) it’s fine. Is this lady saying that women shouldn’t get spa treatment certificates from their husbands anymore because they’re not “thoughtful” enough? As long as the gift takes into account the recipients wants and needs it doesn’t MATTER what form it takes.
#7 Posted by Christian on 12/12 at 10:03 PM -
Wow...thats got to be one of the most elitist things I have ever read. I love gift cards, especially when you consider that some relatives, no matter what, still give you those generic, dumb gifts: i.e. Cologne or worse, fruit cake. Or if they know you like to read, give you stuff that you wouldn’t read if that was the only book on the planet. (Anyone need a copy of “Where the Red fern Grows”? I got 3 of them).
#8 Posted by Technomad on 12/12 at 11:09 PM -
In my own case, gift cards simplify things enormously. My best-beloved doesn’t live close by, and she’s hard to buy for. A $25.00 gift card at Barnes + Nobles takes a lot of the pressure off me; anything I suggest, she either already has or doesn’t want.
#9 Posted by Rann Aridorn on 12/12 at 11:48 PM -
Gift cards are a step up from cash in that they’re saying “I do indeed have a general idea what you like and have thusly made it possible to get something in that genre.”
I usually don’t do them myself, but not because there’s anything wrong with them. I love receiving gift cards (and cash even more). I don’t know, I’m just one of those people that has to wrack their brain and buy something I think someone would actually like, even if I have to take the risk they don’t. There’s no philosophy behind it, it just makes me feel better. Which I guess is sorta selfish, in a way, but they’re still getting free shit so if they wanna get too gripey about it they can go screw.
(I should probably break down and start doing gift cards for certain people. My dad has this really weird thing about Christmas gifts where, even if I get him a book or DVD or whatever that I KNOW he likes, because he told me… it will sit in its wrapper, unopened and unwatched/unread. Though knowing him he’d wind up keeping the gift card in his wallet forever just to be contrary.)
#10 Posted by miguelito on 12/13 at 01:46 AM -
Gift cards are perfect for people that are just hard to buy for, but you know they would probably like music or a DVD. My sister’s kids are often tuff to buy for. I don’t know WTF they like anymore, not to mention it tends to change at the drop of a hat.
Of course this year I was able to get one thing for all of them (my sister and her kids) in one shot, and I already know they love it. I was able to find another Rock Band box set. :) Otherwise I would’ve likely gotten at least the kids a gift card because I know they’d probably get movies or games and would rather pick their own stuff.
#11 Posted by sandihaze on 12/13 at 12:20 PM -
Personally, I like getting gift cards. Hell that way I can actually use it to get something I actually want/need/like, instead of someone buying me some useless crap that I’ll never use. I don’t think they are impersonal at all. I can’t tell you how cramped my closet is of ugly sweaters and things of that nature that I have received over the past few years. I will never wear them, they are almost too hideous to even donate to GoodWill or Red Cross. I usually let them sit in the closet for a year or two, then they get donated, with tags still attached.
If a person doesn’t SPECIFICALLY tell me what they want/need, then I always get a gift card for thier favorite store, and they are always appreciative.
Screw that chick. She is so full of it.
#12 Posted by Mazz on 12/13 at 01:31 PM -
When I give a gift card, I’ll get the Visa gift cards, ones that you can use anywhere. I don’t want to lock someone into one specific store. Hell, they can even use it to put GAS in their car!
#13 Posted by Sean Galbraith 
on 12/13 at 04:35 PM -
Is there anything wrong with a gift card, no. Is the perfectly chosen gift better than a gift card? Always.
#14 Posted by randyp5 on 12/13 at 05:31 PM -
It’s also not that I don’t understand the practical aspects of the gift card. I do. I just can’t help mourning the passing of a lovely tradition, one that helped us focus on each other and had the potential to bring us closer
Call me odd man out, I totally get what shes saying and I agree with most of it.
#15 Posted by Drumwaster on 12/13 at 06:02 PM -
Is the perfectly chosen gift better than a gift card? Always.
Of course, “perfection” is better than “good enough”, but when there is a balance to be made between spending hours and hours looking for that “perfect” gift, rather than giving them a gift card from a favored store and letting that recipient choose their own “perfect” gift.
Is it true that the recipient of a gift knows better what they want than the giver? Every fucking time.
#16 Posted by miguelito on 12/13 at 07:45 PM -
Of course, “perfection” is better than “good enough”, but when there is a balance to be made between spending hours and hours looking for that “perfect” gift, rather than giving them a gift card from a favored store and letting that recipient choose their own “perfect” gift.
There are also times where you’re just never going to find the “perfect” gift either. As much as you’d think they should be easier to buy for, I actually find buying for kids (well, teens anyway) tough to buy for, because their tastes in a lot of things tend to change enough that just when you think you know what they like, you’re out of sync. They’ll usually not say they don’t like something, but it’s pretty obvious when they’re just humoring you vs truly happy about a gift.
I do understand the point of the main article though.. but she’s being a bitch about. In the case of something like a spouse, I think she’s pretty much right. Someone you’re that close to, you shouldn’t have a hard time finding a good gift for.. or you’ve likely got other problems. But other friends and relatives, sometimes gift cards are better for both parties.
#17 Posted by Digger on 12/13 at 08:12 PM -
As much as you’d think they should be easier to buy for, I actually find buying for kids (well, teens anyway) tough to buy for, because their tastes in a lot of things tend to change enough that just when you think you know what they like, you’re out of sync.
For teens? That’s easy! They all still like a good New Kids on the Block tape. (Tape, not CD, we’re talkin’ old style gangster, not some new fangled crap).
#18 Posted by Drumwaster on 12/13 at 11:39 PM -
When I give a gift card, I’ll get the Visa gift cards, ones that you can use anywhere. I don’t want to lock someone into one specific store. Hell, they can even use it to put GAS in their car!
They’ve had this for YEARS - it’s called “cash”.
#20 Posted by supercore on 12/14 at 05:32 PM -
Someone you’re that close to, you shouldn’t have a hard time finding a good gift for..
Maybe part of the problem is that the whole gift-giving business that we’ve made over the last several years has just gotten way to big and overblown? You’re practically expected to get gifts for every one of your friends, co-workers, immediate family members, family members you haven’t seen in years, signifigant-other’s family, your bowling team, accountant, and your favorite female daytime tv-show host. Hell, You’re even supposed to get your mail-carrier a gift now. I mean, It’s ridiculous the amount of money and time that would be required to find a personalized and thoughtful gift for everyone on your list.
In this sort of situation gift cards DO say, “Yeah, I don’t know what to buy you. I don’t know your size, I don’t know your taste, and I’m really not too interested in learning.” but they also say “Regardless of all that, Here’s something that you can use and be ACTUALLY happy to get.” It’s a mea culpa sure, but it’s sure as hell better than nothing.
A side thought, Gift cards are a great way to help people try new things. Got both my parents a $100 gift cert for Burns Steakhouse here in Tampa last year. They were practically in tears. And they thanked me AGAIN after they’d gone and had an amazing meal. How many times does someone thank you 3 months down the road for an x-mas present?
#21 Posted by miguelito on 12/14 at 05:47 PM -
Maybe part of the problem is that the whole gift-giving business that we’ve made over the last several years has just gotten way to big and overblown?
No argument there.
The one that drives me nuts the most are the commercials that imply you don’t really love your wife if you don’t spend several months salary on a stupid rock. God I hate the whole scam that is diamonds… and really jewelry in general.
#22 Posted by Drumwaster on 12/14 at 07:29 PM -
Fuck diamonds, gimme emeralds.
Diamonds are too cold for me. Emerald is my birthstone and I like the color. Plus, emeralds are more valuable, carat-for-carat, cut-for-cut, than diamonds are…
Besides, when was the last time you ever heard of “emerald-tipped drill” or “industrial-grade emeralds”? Emeralds are purely ornamental.
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#1 Posted by Drumwaster
on 12/12 at 04:51 PM -
How about we just send her a postcard reading, “Hey, I thought about buying you something, but then I thought some more...”?
And you shouldn’t be sending cash through the mail anyway…
Speaking of which, do you prefer money orders or gift cards, and from which store(s)? Drop me an e-mail…