Friday, April 11, 2008
Things I meant to post over the last week
1. The Swayze is responding well to treatment. Go Swayze. It’s time to not be nice to that cancer.
2. Bret and the girls wrecked the house they were staying in, and VH1 didn’t bother to buy the promised insurance. Gee, what a surprise. VH1 is an irresponsible organization and those whores have about as much respect for property as they do for themselves. Oh and Bret Michaels is a douchebag.
3. Is PC gaming dead? Hell yes it is. I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating: PC gaming is a never-ending cycle of upgrades and driver problems. Every two or three years, the latest and greatest game will require a new graphics card. The high end is always brutal, cost-wise. $500 bucks. A really good latest-gen upper midrange card goes about $200-$250. Budget cards worth buying are $175.
On the off years when you aren’t upgrading video cards, you need to upgrade your CPU to keep up with the video card you plan to get next year. And every so often you’ll need a new motherboard. And fans will burn out. Power supplies go bad. Your entire PC will be replaced a part at a time over a three-to-five year lifespan, and while you can build a rig for a grand, if you want a good rig you’ll be spending about two grand. Or just buy a whole new rig every three years. For $2000.
OR...you could buy an Xbox 360 for $250-$400 (depending on the model) and be done with it. Add in a second controller and a year of Xbox Live and you still can’t break $700. Done and dusted. The games rock. If online is your thing there is no better matchmaking right now than Live. It’s simple, easy, and like they always say about Macs, it just works. Except for the red rings of death. But they’re doing what they can to make good on those problems.
Maybe the PS3 is more your speed. Do it. It’s the best Blu-Ray player around right now, and you get to play MGS and SOCOM. I’m not dying for a PS3, but when we get an HD TV, I may look at it just for the movie capability. And SOCOM. :)
4. Brokeback Mountain is a shit film, regardless of its alleged social import. Rann nails the very exact thing that I complained about when I first saw it: These are two lying pieces of shit who destroyed their families because they were too cowardly to be who they were. The fact that they are gay is not a reason to justify that they are lying cheaters. They are not heroes, and the movie did nothing to frame gay people as normal in the minds of AJMG (Average Joe Movie Goer). Plus it was plodding, boring, an hour too long and slower than dial-up internet access. It was poorly directed and poorly edited. Fuck Brokeback Mountain.
Posted by JimK at 08:08 PM on April 11, 2008
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Categories: Entertainment, Gaming, Xbox 360, Celebridiots, Television, Rock Of Love, Rock Of Love 2, Technobabble (Technology)
Tags: gaming xbox 360 VH1 Rock of Love Reality TV Bret Michaels Poison 80s hair metal Patrick Swayze
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Rikki Rockett: rapist?
I read about this the other day and I’ve been putting off posting only because I knew it was going to be a long-ish post to write. Actually Donna’s mom called us to tell us she had heard about it, and that raised a whole other story, which is the reason this post will be long. Anyway, the newsy bit first:
Poison drummer Rikki Rockett was arrested on a rape warrant and his case was turned over to the district attorney’s office for possible grand jury consideration, officials said Friday.
Rockett, 46, was arrested Monday at or near Los Angeles International Airport, Los Angeles police said. He was booked and released, and was awaiting an extradition decision by Mississippi prosecutors.
A woman in Mississippi filed a complaint that she was raped on Sept. 23, 2007, at the Silver Star Casino, Neshoba County sheriff’s investigator Ralph Sciple said.
“The subject, Rikki Rockett, forcibly had sex with an adult in one of the hotel rooms,” according to a complaint.
...
Rockett, whose real name is Richard Ream…
First of all his parents - named Ream - named their kid “Richard.” Dick Ream. They must have hated the idea of having him. Secondly, I totally and completely believe this is possible, and here comes the long story bit after the jump.
Posted by JimK at 03:05 PM on April 03, 2008
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Categories: Entertainment, Celebridiots, Music, Television, Rock Of Love, Personal
Tags: Rikki Rocket VH1 Rock of Love Reality TV Bret Michaels Poison 80s hair metal
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Russel Crowe’s music career
Oh. My. God.
The band - currently known as The Ordinary Fear of God, formerly Thirty Odd Foot Of Grunts - isn’t horrible. And Crowe can sing a bit, if he’d just trust his voice more. What is horrifyingly awful and normally would be performed as a joke is taken very, very seriously by Crowe. I assume no one tells him he looks like the bastard child of Davids Brent and Caruso. Pat close attention to the rose petals, and of course enjoy him posing as a bullfighter:
Just...wow. This one is a better song...it could be decent if someone like Tim McGraw did it, with more of a poignant, bittersweet attitude instead of this smarmy, cocksure “You know you wanna fuck me” swagger/grin shit Crowe is doing:
Holy lord. This is not an April Fool’s gag. He’s fucking serious about this shit. How am I ever supposed to take him seriously as a “hard man” in a movie again? All I’m ever going to see is that moment in the first video where he throws the rose petals into the air. And why do all the band names have to spell out TOFOG?
Posted by JimK at 01:13 PM on April 01, 2008
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Categories: Entertainment, Celebridiots, Music
Tags: Russel Crowe The Ordinary Fear of God Thirty Odd Foot Of Grunts
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Marilyn Manson releases “Mansinthe.” I’m not making this up.
He just gets sillier and more out of touch with every passing day. So Manson has release a vanity absinthe, and Epicurious reviewed it. Unfavorably, I might add.
So did Mansinthe have what it takes to be a premium absinthe? According to the tasters, the answer is, sadly, no. The No. 1 problem was the aroma, which some verbally compared to sewage water or swamp mud, but with the exception of a lone taster, the panel felt it wasn’t really worth wading through the odor to get to mediocre flavor anyway.
They rated each aspect of it in detail. None of it is really good. Kind of to be expected at this point. And oh my ever-loving Jesus, that name is horrid.
Nice label, though.
Posted by JimK at 03:17 PM on February 16, 2008
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Categories: Entertainment, Celebridiots, Personal, Recipes and Food
Tags: Marilyn Manson mansinthe absinthe
Thursday, January 31, 2008
My Name is Scientology Simpson. Who the hell are you?
Wow. Rann dropped this one in the comments.
THE voice of Bart Simpson last year handed a stunning $11.2 million over to her beloved Church of Scientology - twice as much as Tom Cruise.
Nancy Cartwright, 50, made the donation as part of Scientology’s Global Salvage effort, which aims to “de-aberrate” Earth - meaning to rid mankind of psychology ills and other “aberrant” behavior.
That Scientology sure is powerful shit. That is a veritable fuck-ton of cash. OK, not a fuck-ton literally. More like 246.6912 pounds if it were in hundreds. It could be a couple of fuck-tons if she delivered it in new twenties. Wait how did I get bogged down in how much it weighs? The important bit here is not the weight of the money if it were all in cash. The important thing here is that nancy Cartwright is as crazy as a shithouse rat.
To all those who don’t go to Tom Cruise movies because you don’t want to support the destructive business empire that is Scientology, you might want to stop watching the Simpsons, too.
Truth be told, I still steal Tom Cruise movies off BitTorrent watch Tom Cruise movies. I don’t really notice the batshit Scientology crap. At least not so far. The guy was, and still can be, a fine, fine cinematic performer. Odds are I won’t bother avoiding the Simpsons either.
That is, any more than I already do. I see new episodes of the Simpsons when I remember that it’s still on the air, and I remember to steal them off BitTorrent “legally acquire” them. Over the last three seasons, I think I’ve seen maybe half of them. I might have laughed at three or four jokes. I think the show has run its course. At one point I would have defended it as the finest comedy on television, but like all good things, it came to an end. Only, like...licensing, dude. Fox still makes a bajillion point eleventy trillion million dollars every three minutes off Simpsons gear, so look for it to be on the air until well into the 2012 cataclysm or barring that, Drum’s predicted revolution, in which I shall take up arms under the flag of the United States of Jimerica. Our Constitution will be familiar. As will our flag. The major difference between my country and the one called “The United States of America” is that all congresspersons are required to be smart, really hot and perform all official functions in the nude. They will be evenly split between men and women, so everyone gets a little something to gawk at and the business of Jimerica can still get done.
Also, all television networks will be required to air a minimum of 13 episodes of any new television series. I know, that’s a bit heavy-handed, but I have to use my power in the way I think will best benefit me my friends all of us.
Also, California is not welcome in the new country. They are large enough to be thier own nation. I might kick Florida out too. Massachusetts goes for sure. We just have to relocate the Pats. Without the Boston fanbase. :)
Also, there will be National Hawtness of the Week competitions on live TV. That will be the only reality show we have. Hot people from all over the country will compete in categories like “Best Redheaded babe” and “Manliest Lumberjack Type” and “Best PC Technical Support.” The hottest and smartest of them will be asked to run for Congress at the end of the year. See how one program supports the other? Effecient government. That’s what Jimerica is all about.
That, and looking at naked people.
Posted by JimK at 02:43 PM on January 31, 2008
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Categories: Entertainment, Celebridiots, Humor
Tags: Simpsons Scientology Nancy Cartwright
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Shocking news about Kevin DuBrow
Show of hands; who was surprised to learn Kevin DuBrow’s death was due to cocaine overdose?
Supplementary question; which is worse, aging rocker with a coke habit, or aging rocker wearing wigs that have more hair than his real head did when he was famous?
By the way, I love Kevin, and QR, so I’m not exactly happy he died or anything. I’m just saying, what a surprise (he said, tinged with sarcasm) and that it’s kind of sad to maintain a coke habit long after the rock star life has left you. And dead or alive, those wigs needed mocking. So now that I have certified a seat on the express bus to hell....
Posted by JimK at 02:17 PM on December 11, 2007
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Categories: Entertainment, Celebridiots, Music
Tags: quiet riot kevin dubrow
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Dog’s a racist
This is disappointing. Before anyone starts in and says that the PC police are setting up another victim, listen to the tape. He’s forcing one of his sons to break up with his black girlfriend if the kid wants to come work for Dog. Chapman actually says “I’m not gonna take a chance, ever in life, of losin’ everything I’ve worked for for thirty years cuz some fuckin’ nigger heard us say “nigger” and turned us in to the Enquirer magazine.”
Uhh…
No getting around that one. That’s not a casual use of an innocent word. You can hear the hate and bile in his voice when he spits it out. There is no excuse for that. None at all. Now I feel like a stupid bastard for ever caring about his legal problems or his show. Oh, and he’s reaching out to black leaders to teach him how to fix this. Whatever. First of all, most of the “black leaders” are racist pieces of greedy shit themselves. Secondly, it’s too late. You hate black people, Dog, and you taught that hate to all ninety-seven of your kids and grandkids and who the hell ever else lives in your giant houses.
See also: Not very Christian of you, God boy. I can’t say with 100% surety, but I imagine this is not what Jesus would do.
Posted by JimK at 01:42 PM on November 01, 2007
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Categories: Entertainment, Celebridiots
Tags: Dog the Bounty Hunter Duane Chapman
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Another stupid celebrity “scandal”
Someday we’ll get over this ridiculous race-baiting bullshit...So Halle Berry made a dumb joke on Leno the other night
Stopping by The Tonight Show Friday to promote Things We Lost in the Fire, Halle Berry brought with her a couple mementos she probably now wishes had also perished in the blaze: Having recently discovered the funhouse-mirror filters on Apple’s Photo Booth program--also employed to terrifying kaleidoscopic effect by Rosie O’Donnell--Berry pulled out several printouts of her morphing handiwork, including a big-nosed alter ego she described as “my Jewish cousin.”.
There’s a video at the link. I guess we’re supposed to be horrified at her insensitive racism. Well, here’s a fucking clue; Many, many Jews have big noses. That’s right, I fucking said it. You know what else? Italians are greasy. That’s right, oily and greasy and slick like a slab of bacon. Hairy fuckers, too. Asians are better at math. Germans hate everyone. Brits have fucked up teeth. Canadians are clean and polite. Black guys have big dicks. Irish are drunks. Then again, so are the Germans, Italians, Brits, Poles, Greeks, anyone from a country that is now or was ever part of a Russian empire...come to think of it, everyone’s a frigging drunk. Scratch that one.
I’m sure there are like seven hundred more ethnic, social and racial stereotypes that can be proved true a million times over. But it doesn’t matter. We all have to hate Halle Berry now for one stupid joke. God knows Long Island isn’t populated with tens of thousands of Jewish girls with nose jobs or anything.
Come to think of it, the other half of Long island are Italian girls with nose jobs. Lemme tell you about the Roman honker. That beast can get big. Real big. Marlon Brando big.
Christ on a cross I am so sick of this race-baiting “You better apologize or we’ll ruin your career” crap. Mel Gibson is definitely an old-school anti-Semite. Halle Berry isn’t. Can we move on now?
Wait, one more thing: Full-on Italian girls have a strong...uhh...scent. Did I mention that? You could bottle it as tear gas under the right circumstances. Now, if you don’t mind, I am quite sure I shall be forced to take a racial sensitivity class by someone, and I need to prepare. I hear the teacher is Indian. Dot, not feather. Can’t understand a word they say, I swear.
Posted by JimK at 07:46 PM on October 24, 2007
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Categories: Entertainment, Celebridiots, The Stupidity Of Man
Tags: Halle Berry
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Dan Rather out to shred what little dignity he has left
Really? He’s really doing this?
In the suit, filed this afternoon in State Supreme Court in Manhattan, Mr. Rather charges that CBS and its executives made him “a scapegoat” in an attempt “to pacify the White House,” though the formal complaint presents virtually no direct evidence to that effect. To buttress this claim, Mr. Rather quotes the executive who oversaw his regular segment on CBS Radio, telling Mr. Rather in November 2004 that he was losing that slot, effective immediately, because of “pressure from ‘the right wing.’ ”
I think it would be unhealthy to laugh as much as this whole concept makes me want to laugh. Either Rather is a senile old fart who believes that those fraudulent documents were real, or he’s just determined to die in total and complete disgrace. This is what happens when political conviction takes over your sense of right and wrong. Maybe Rather spent so long staring into the abyss that it changed him. Maybe he was always a fraud and we just didn’t have a way to check in the old days. I dunno. What I do know is this is a terrible idea, and it won’t end well for Rather, CBS News or the Democrats. Raising all of this blatant media bias during election season cannot in any way harm the Republicans.
Posted by JimK at 11:28 PM on September 19, 2007
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Categories: Entertainment, Celebridiots, News, Politics, The Fourth Estate
Tags: dan rather cbs TANG lawsuit
Monday, September 10, 2007
Punk
OK. So get this. I’m assembling this from about 15 different stories: At the VMAs last night, Kid Rock is sitting at a table with someone...I can’t find a damn story that says for sure who it was, but some say Diddy. Tommy Lee walks up to talk to that someone, and Kid Rock does his best to pretend Tommy isn’t there. Tommy gets pissed and starts antagonizing Kid Rock, who eventually gets pissed. Tommy stands up agressively, so Kid Rock up and backhands Tommy Lee in the face.
Let that sink in. Tommy Lee got bitch-slapped by Kid Rock. A backhand, no less. I’m sorry, bitch-slapped is the wrong term. Kid Rock pimp-slapped Tommy Lee.
Tommy gets all puffed up and thwap; Kid hits Tommy in the face again. Oh my God in heaven, Tommy Lee got pimp-slapped twice in the face.
Rap producer Rich Nice, who had a front-row seat to the melee, told the Associated Press that the Mötley Crüe drummer was the instigator of the fight, though it was the “Bawitdaba” singer who landed the only connecting punch.
“It looked like Tommy Lee initiated it because Kid Rock was ignoring him,” he said. “And Tommy Lee kind of antagonized him. And then when Tommy Lee stood up, it looked a little weird, like, ‘Yo, what?’
“When Tommy stands up is when Kid hit him the first time with a backhand,” Nice told the wire service. “And then Tommy Lee looked like he was trying to get at him to aggressively retaliate and then Kid Rock hits Tommy Lee again—bong. And then security grabs Tommy Lee in a headlock and pulls him off.”
After the fight, security allowed Kid Rock to remain in his seat for the remainder of the show, though Lee was thrown out of the ceremony and deposited in the hotel’s main casino amid a throng of fans.
Oh that’s rich. Now, if you can believe this, bad-boy Tommy Lee, of Motley fucking Crue, went crying to the police and pressed charges against Kid Rock. Wow. Bad enough that he got pimp-slapped over some imagined beef due to them both banging the dried out mess that is Pamela Anderson. But to cry to the police to press misdemeanor assault charges? It’s just a punk bitch move. If Tommy Lee had any cool left...he just spent it. Oh, and he tells a different story, of course:
“I was minding myself and then he goes and punches me on the cheek,” claims Tommy. “I was trying to be the bigger man, but he was acting childish.”
He added that after Kid came up and punched him, he “was ready to go in the alley and kick his ass. “I was about to put Kid in the emergency room when security grabbed me,” says Tommy. “They said, ‘If you move, we will break your arms.’”
Tommy went on to express why Kid probably acted the way he did, saying, “This is what people do when they have shitty albums and their careers are going down the drain.”
Punk. Bitch.
Posted by JimK at 10:03 PM on September 10, 2007
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Categories: Entertainment, Celebridiots
Tags: kid rock tommy lee pam anderson vma
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