When we last left the crew, Tigh, Tory Foster, Anders and Chief Tyrol were listening to some Dylan and finding out they was toaster-riffic.  See also Starbuck risin from the dead and Jesus Baltar scurrying away.

The episode/season picked up precisely there, right in the middle of everything.  Random thoughts, the day after we watched:

- Starbuck in a brand-spanking new beautiful Viper claiming she woke up orbiting earth. What the frack?  My only guess is wormhole physics.  Hence the reason that “Watchtower” was able to get through, otherwise time becomes too much of an issue.  She found a wormhole/thin spot in the fabric of space/time, and who the hell knows which version of her - or her ship - is actually back.  I do not think Starbuck is a Cylon.  I think they are making it way, way to easy to think she’s the last one.  Could be a double bluff, but I just think it’s lazy.  kara already hates herself, how would this be any different?  Now, destroying her further by making Zack a Cylon and she has to kill him...or try to...now that’s some shit for Thrace’s ass.

- Massive dogfight sequence, which was really awesome to see again.  I *love* these ships, Colonial and Cylon alike.

- Jesus Baltar.  Need I say more?  This fucking guy has the worst best luck ever.  I mean, sure he’s hated by 99.97623% of all remaining humans and a large portion of the Cylons as well, but could he come up smelling like roses more frigging often?  Get jumped in the toilet by murderous parent intent on revenge?  No worries, mate, Hottie Cultist #351 will beat your assailants to death with a pipe.  Cult member’s kid dying of viral encephalitis?  No worries.  You just say a prayer and he’ll be fine, dude, then they will all believe you are Jesus.  More pussy for you, my friend.

- Anyone else catch that Laura is staying in Bill’s quarters?  I smell old people sex.  Well, not literally smell it.  Ben Gay and KY.  Eww.  No, I mean look for a whole future episode based around the very non-Ozzy and Harriet scenarios that living situation will conjure up.

- I like where Tigh’s defiance about his nature is going.  He’s been fighting demons his whole life, and when push comes to shove, he always makes the right decision...eventually.  The scene in CiC where he shot Bill in the face was great, as was his absolute defiance about who and what he is.  He’d rather die than help the Cylons even if he is one.  It raises all these nature/nurture, will versus instinct type questions.  Can you choose to be human?  Is there something special about the Final Five that allows them to make decisions rather than follow programming?

- Fucking Starbuck.  She can’t just knock on Roslin’s door and say ‘Ma’am I really really need to speak with you about these jumps.” and based on their shared experiences with the arrow and religion and the tomb and map and shit, convince Laura to listen to her.  No, not Starbuck.  She has to throat-chop two Marines, knock her husband out with a pistol whipping and then go threaten Laura at gunpoint.  That’s Starbuck for you.

Problem here is, I’m not sure what I want to see.  I want them to get to earth so I can see what happens, but if I’m thinking about them as people I care about, Laura’s caution is warranted and she;s probably making the right decision.

- One minor writing complaint.  When they are standing by the memorial wall, Kara says to Anders that she worries she was grown in a Petri dish.  I realize that I’m probably the only person watching who thought of this as a flaw, but Petri dishes were named after a specific person.  Richard Petri invented them in 1887.  It’s kind of stupid to think that they also had a guy named Petri who happened to invent a little dish for growing shit in a lab.  A better line would have been “Is it possible that they grew me, another me, in a test tube” or “in a lab somewhere.” Saying “Petri dish” is too Earthy.  It shook me out of the moment.  Not for long, though.

- The position Lee is talking about in the government.  Vice President?

- It seems like most of the major players are coming around to the idea of accepting Cylons as “one of us.” Save for Starbuck of course, who told AndersCylon that if she ever found out he was, well, what he is, she would put a bullet in his fracking head.  See?  This Zack idea I keep kicking around would be AWESOME.  And note that Lee and Bill were specifically discussing what would happen if Zack came back and was a Cylon.  And the guy that played Zack in the flashback way back when?  His agent refuses to comment on whether or not his client is working on the show.

I’m just saying.

All in all I REALLY enjoyed this episode.  Tons of shit happened, loads of forward progress.  LOVE love love the space battle and the fight in the bathroom.  One weird thing I’ve noticed is that the vast majority of great BSG episodes feature the bathroom.  Weird.

Looking forward to more.  If they can maintain half of this episode’s forward momentum, excitement and intrigue, I will be fracking thrilled.  BSG feel like it’s back.

So say we all. (?)

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The season opener will not be connected to how the third season ended, not picking up after the cliffhanger but instead going back a bit in time a season or two ago (perhaps into the second season), connecting events there with what will happen in season four.

Aww FUCK.  It’s going to end just as blatheringly talkative as season three, isn’t it?  You know what I loved about Rome?  Every episode started and ended as if it were one huge 24-hour long feature film.  There was time compression, obviously, but what you saw at the end of 1x03 was what led 1x04.  The end of season one ended with Julius Ceasar dead on the floor of the Senate, and season two picked up with what looked like the exact shot that ended season two.  It was a thing of beauty to watch those episodes straight through.

You know what I love about The Shield?  CONTI-FRIGGIN-NUITY.  Each episode leads to the one that follows.  If old information is needed, they just fucking tell us.

Man, BSG started out with such promise.  The mini-series and seasons one (and most of two) were amazing.  I have very little faith in season 4 but I will watch it faithfully nonetheless.

Later on in the fourth season it will be further explained why ‘All Along The Watchtower’ is significant. They also reveal that originally they were going to have the Simon & Garfunkel song ‘America’ instead.

Oh.  I have a bad feeling about the political content of season four.  Please, please PLEASE let me be paranoid and wrong.

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• The Sopranos isn't one-third as good as some people are saying these days. I'm sorry. I know that monumental thing happened last night, but other than that brief two-minute sequence, the show was a dedication to the art of navel-gazing for it's own sake.
  
  It seems like everything eventually turns out that way if the creators let it go on past it's planned - or natural - life. When the network pays thirty-five trajillion dollars for two more seasons of something that was originally planned for a three-year run...the writing is always the first thing to go. Eventually it all devolves into the actors standing around trying to figure out why they feel so bad or why mommy doesn't love them. That's always been a part of The Sopranos, but in addition, things used to happen. Now it's all navel gazing with only one "moment" per episode that drives the plot forward.
  
  I'm so glad it's going to be over soon.



• Battlestar Galactica may not end so soon. David Eick says that Olmos has a habit of starting this rumor and if BSG is going anywhere, he and Ron Moore will let us know. You know what I wrote above about The Sopranos? Yeah. Already happening to BSG. Tighten it up, guys. You don't want to be The X-Files at the end, do you?



• NBC announced their lineup for the fall. The following shows are renewed: Friday Night Lights, Law & Order, Law & Order: CI, Law & Order: SVU, Deal or No Deal, 30 Rock, The Office, Heroes, Scrubs, ER, The Biggest Loser, Las Vegas, My Name Is Earl, 1 vs. 100, Dateline, Football Night In America, and Medium, Saturday Night Live. So, NBC will be paying Zach that monster salary for Scrubs after all.
  
  The new shows will be The Bionic Woman, The IT Crowd, Chuck, Journeyman, Life, Lipstick Jungle, The Singing Bee, World Moves, and Heroes: Origins, Lipshitz Saves The World. I'm curious to see what they do with The IT Crowd, which was a Britcom about geeks that run the network in a large corporation. If you watched it, Moss is in the U.S. version but the rest is all new casting. Hey, The Office U.S. doesn't suck, so maybe...Also, Heroes; Origins will be six special episodes running during the normal hiatus period mid-season. So we get non-stop Heroes and 30 full episodes in one year. Dear Jesus: Please make sure that the Heroes team maintains the current level of quality. If you do, I'll send your daddy my firstborn, assuming there ever is one. Thanks.
  
  Canceled: Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip, Crossing Jordan, The Black Donnellys, Kidnapped, Andy Barker, P.I., The Apprentice, Identity, Raines, 20 Good Years, Grease: You're The One That I Want, The Real Wedding Crashers, Thank God You're Here. The Black Donnellys was pretty good, but failed to live up to the initial promise of the pilot. Same for Andy Barker. I never watched Raines, and it looks like I can delete that free pilot episode I downloaded from iTunes...

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• The recap covers the song people are hearing, Gaius as Jesus, Gaius’ trial and Lee resigning.  For like, five minutes anyway.

• The old man is shaving and cuts himself.  I suppose that’s a metaphor, eh?  Then Laura calls him and they have what feels like a husband and wife conversation.  They so want to do it.  This isn’t Moonlighting, it’s OK if they screw.

• Cut to: Chief Tyrol hearing the sitar music while half asleep.  Cut to: Anders sleeping with Laura’s assistant lady.  Who is hearing the music.

  OK, that’s Anders, Tyrol, Tigh and Whats’ername.  If one more and only one more hears it, I think we have something…

• Cut to Jesus, Lee and Badger talking about trying to force a mistrial.  Lee told the lawyer what The Old Man said about Gaius being a piece of garbage.  So now Lee is divulging personal, military-record conversations between he and his commander to the defense?  Anyone else think he’s crossed a line?

• Cut to: hangar deck, where...umm..is that Racetrack?  She’s giving Starbuck’s orientation speech to the nuggets.  Anders is hearing things.  Buzzing noises, he seems to be hearing Tyrol singing from across the bay.  He asks about the song. 

  So, like...electronic interference, super hearing, music that isn’t there?  Gee.  So far four people are hearing it.  Show me the fifth.

• Question from the commercial break: Who is responsible for the strange music?  A. The Cylons, B. Human Saboteurs or C. A third party yet to be revealed.  Well...the answer is A and partially C.  The music is how the Cylons are tracking the fleet, but the third party yet to be revealed may be Cylon in nature without being part of “The Cylons” as we know them so far.

• Back to the show and Laura is with The Cigarette Smoking Doc (Oh come on, surely you remember The X-Files).  She has a dream about chasing Hera and it turns out that Athena is in the medbay having it at the same time.  Everyone trots down to see Six to try to find out what the frack is going on.

  Laura: “Were you with us, just a moment ago, in the lobby of the opera house?
  Six: “...”
  Laura: “I’ll take that as a yes from the look on your face.”

  We better get an answer here.  I’m sick of adding mysteries without answering questions.  Six thinks she has to protect Hera.

• Cut to: Adama’s quarters.  SaltySeaDog is trying to convince Adama that the music is real and it’s important.  Of course it is.  It’s very, very important but due to Saul’s recent behavior it seems like Adama is not really believing it, even though he says he does.

• Cut to the trial, and Gaeta is testifying to the fact that he was there when Gaius signed the death order.  He said he personally witnessed Baltar signing the document.  Now...why would he lie?  Because he’s trying to get Baltar convicted.  The only other human witness was Gaius himself, and no one will believe anything he says.  The other witness they can have access to was Six...and that;s the wrench in the works for Gaeta.  She’s either going to back his play or tell the truth, depending on her agenda and how slighted she feels by Gaius (or, how connected and worth something Laura makes her feel).  I predict Gaeta not getting away with this.  This lie could be the thing that forces them to acquit Jesus.

  The prosecutor asks if he resisted, and Gaeta says no.  Oh felix, what are////heh, Gaius just said those EXACT words.  This isn’t the way to get it done, Felix.

  “The whole fleet know this man tried to stab me through the neck - and you missed - but-ter-fingers!”

  No defense questions for Gaeta.  Okily-dokily.  We all know Gaius is going to get off, so I guess I shouldn’t question Badger the SuperLawyer’s methods…

• Back from commercial, and the defense offers a mistrial motion.  Gaius erupts and says he doesn’t want a mistrial.  The grounds of course are Adama’s statements to Lee.  Badger wants Lee to testify against The Old Man.  If he does...that was a military discussion between two officers and in private quarters no less.  Having an opinion doesn’t mean you can’t set it aside and do your job. 

  OK...looks like Lee isn’t going to willingly cross that line.  Prosecution objects to Lee testifying.  Adama wants to hear his testimony.  Come on...that’s clearly Bill saying ‘Make your choice, Lee.  Right here, right now, for the last time, decide.”

  Lee asks the entire room to ask what they would have done.  He makes a compelling argument that some people had no choice, and that Roslin offered a blanket pardon to everyone.  He lists things that everyone has done over the last two years.  He spills it the most about himself, how he tried to get Bill to stay away.  He’s making some compelling arguments.  “We’re not a civilization anymore, we are a gang and we’re on the run.  And we have to fight to survive.  We have to break rules, we have to bend laws, we have to improvise.  But not this time no, not this time not for gaius baltar.”

  Hmm.

  I might be coming around to his point of view except for one thing; It;s not the fact that Gaius surrendered.  Hell, the 12 Colonies surrendered during the first 30 minutes of the war when they realized that Caprica and all the other worlds were going to be destroyed.  Sometimes surrender is the only option.

  And sometimes it’s the cowardly thing to do.  Gaius could have stood up to the Cylons a hundred different ways.  Instead he lived the life of a kept king, with sex and booze and food and never the cold realities the rest of the humans were forced to live with.  He chose his own pleasures over doing right by his people.  The day they put a gun to his head and made him sign a death warrant for 200 humans, he made a choice; his life over that of those who he was supposed to protect.  For that, he deserves some kind of punishment.  But...I don’t know what that punishment should be under these circumstances.  Death might be too much...and Lee’s speech is having an effect on me.

  He makes one last valid point...this is all about the guilt and shame of those who ran away from New Caprica.  Hmm…

  Point one: It’s prudent to retreat and regroup when you are hopelessly outnumbered and your death would not accomplish anything.  This isn’t a “300” situation - victory there was simply holding the pass long enough for others to gather to protect Athens and Sparta.  If Galactica and Pegasus had tried to stay and fight the day the Cylons took over New Caprica, they;d be dead right now and New Caprica would, by now, likely be nuked.

  BUT.

  Point two: Gaius standing up to the Cylons and refusing to sign the order and then dying, would not have been futile.  It would have been a rallying moment for humanity...I can just hear Tigh speaking to a crowd on New Caprica.  “If Gaius fracking Baltar can stand up to these toasters,” Saul would say, “why aren’t you doing it?  That selfish sonofabitch never did anything good for anyone in his life, and he sacrificed himself so that you wouldn’t be executed, and look at you, just sitting there doing nothing!”

  His death would have had purpose...but Gaius never does anything selfless.  Ever.  As eloquent as Lee is being, there are still two sides to this argument.

  The defense rests.  Umm...hello?  There was a motion for a mistrial that no one ruled on.  Off they go to decide.

• Back from break and it’s verdict time.  No word on the mistrial motion, I guess we’re just supposed to forget that.  Fucking lazy writers.  The head judge chick says the vote is three to two, not guilty.  Jesus rises!  The crowd wants his blood...it’s turning to a near riot.  Of course they get him out.

• Back in his cell, Baltar gloats and Lee gets all up in his grill.  Gaius wants to partner up with Badger the Superlawyer for “a book tour” and so forth, and of course, Badger wants to move on, his deal is being a defense lawyer, not bonding with defendants.  So now his motivation becomes clear: he wanted to set some precedent for a legal system.  There really hasn’t been one before now, and what;s a defense lawyer to do unless there’s a court in which he can ply his trade?  Baltar is all “What about me?  What about me?” As usual.

• Cut to CIC, and Roslin is all sorta upset about the verdict.  Adama admits he voted to acquit.  Duh.  Of course he did.  He set aside his personal feelings and did the job.  Laura is also right; Gaius is a traitor regardless of the trial’s results.

  Adama tells Gaeta to start the jump, they’re going to the nebula.  Cut to Baltar walking around the halls carrying his entire box of worldly possessions looking for all the world like jesus carrying a cross, albeit a small, square one.  Cut to CIC: Jump!  Hello, Starbuck. (you know she’s going to show up right?)

  Everything goes haywire.  Power goes out around the fleet.  Tigh hears the music louder than ever...and commercial.

• Chaos everywhere.  Batteries only.  Cut to Jesus in the hall, and two shadowy figures come to him and lo and behold they are his disciples and they come unto him to whick him off to safety.

• Six is seeing some kind of room with five super-bright stripe things, and Gaius and Hera are with her.  They turn, and it;s the opera house, and there are five cloaked, bright white figures standing in the balcony.
  

  OK, speculation time: Female, male, either/or, female, male.  The first one kind of looks like a lot of hair is pushing the hood out, and that could be a fold or some curls over the shoulder.  Second one looks like they might not be wearing a hood at all, and if that’s a guy, it could be a guy with long hair?  the relative sizes make that figure seem like it should be male.  Third figure could be a woman or a short guy, the fourth is clearly the smallest, and the fifth looks like it could be a stocky dude.

  Interesting.  As they get closer, the second is definitely not wearing a hood.  That could be short, puffy hair like Anders or Tyrol...that middle one looks for all the world like an outline of Laura’s assistant chick.  The fourth look like Starbuck.

  Woah, the frame went negative for a couple of frames...it sharpens up the outlines.

  

  Ok, bets on the table, in order, left to right

  Jim: Pres’ assistant, Anders, Saul, Starbuck, Chief Tyrol.  Donna: Pres’ Assistant, ChiefTyrol, Tigh, Starbuck, Anders.  Everyone’s a Cylon!

  Six was dreaming this.

• Cut to: Tyrol having more auditory hallucinations.  He says the same thing Tigh said in Adama’s office: “There must be some kind of way out of here.” PAUSE!  I just realized they’re hearing Dylan’s “All Along The Watchtower.” Wow, I feel stupid and slow.

  “There must be some kind of way out of here”
  Said the joker to the thief
  “There’s too much confusion
  I can’t get no relief
  Businessmen they drink my wine
  Plowmen dig my earth
  None of them along the line
  Know what any of it is worth”

  “No reason to get excited”
  The thief, he kindly spoke
  “There are many here among us
  Who feel that life is but a joke
  But you and I, we’ve been through that
  And this is not our fate
  So let us not talk falsely now
  The hour is getting late”

  All along the watchtower
  Princes kept the view
  While all the women came and went
  Barefoot servants, too
  But outside in the cold distance
  A wildcat did growl
  Two riders were approaching
  And the wind began to howl

  Point one: WHY THE FRACK ARE THEY USING AN EXISTING BOB DYLAN SONG IN THE FRACKING BSG UNIVERSE?  Unless...no.  No way.  NO fucking goddamned way.

  Is this NOT a Cylon transmission and in fact is a radio transmission from fracking EARTH?  Could it be that they are actually hearing the Bob Dylan song we all know here on our Earth?

  Now I want some fracking answers.  What is it?  Is it just a random radio transmission that has drifted outward for decades?  It it a beacon?  Are they hearing it because they;re Cylons?

  Point two: what do these lyrics mean to what is happening?  Feel free to speculate in the comments.

• OK, now everyone’s running around quoting lines and heading somewhere.  Tyrol, PresAssLady and Anders are gathered around what looks like...an airlock or something?  Tyrol thinks he’s a Cylon.  Saul walks in.  Anders is getting it.  Now everyone’s humming it together and SaltyCylonDog takes charge!  “Deadbolt that fracking door.”

  Saul: “40 years in the service two wars, combat, locked in that dungeon at New Caprica, Ellen...my Gods, what about Ellen?” Anders is refusing to believe it, but Tyrol says it.  “We’re Cylons and we have been from the start.”

  We’re just missing the one now.  Cut to:

• CIC, and a Cylon fleet appears on draedis.  Guess what?  They’re escorting Starbuck.  Cut to: the four Cylons in the cargo bay.  He says they need to report to their stations and do their jobs.  He’s Saul Tigh, an officer in the Colonial fleet and that’s who he wants to be.  That convinces them.  They do it…

• Cut to the pilots running through the halls to their ships, past Lee.  Lee turns and gets in a Viper.  Oh look at that, he gets a contact inside the nebula.  Guess who?  Three guesses, and the first two guesses don’t count.  And there she is.

  “Hi Lee.”
  “Kara?”
  “Don’t freak out it really is me.  It’s gonna be OK.  I’ve been to Earth, I know where it is and I’m gonna take us there.” And then we get the “Contact” shot where we track a radio transmission back to Earth, and it looks like I was right.  This is coming from Earth and they are not far away.  Was the song the trigger?  Or was it the proximity to the nebula?  Remember, stellar phenomenon is the road map - someone somewhere knew the way to Earth, and wrote it up in both the Colonial religions and the Cylon’s One True God religion.  All of this has happened before and all of this will happen again.

Rumor has it that Season 4 will be the last, plus the movie to bridge the gap between what we just saw and whatever season 4 brings.  I hope so, because I do not have faith that this is going to go well.  Of course, if they wanted to, they could have the Cylons attack Earth and turn this into a true test of survival for the entire human race...but somehow I doubt that is going to happen.

Note that all the new Cylons are in positions of power but are not THE powerful person in their respective worlds.  Except Anders...he’s no one right now.  Unless that means he’s like, the HCIC? (Head Cylon In Charge).  I dunno...all I know is that was a second-to-last episode, not a season finale.  I really hope the producers buckle down and spend more time on the details, on continuity, etc. during the next production run.

Over at The Llama Butchers, Gary said:

Just when Fonzie was barreling down toward the ramp that would “jump the shark”, Moore and co. manage to keep us riveted. A whole new season queued up for 2008. You bet I’ll stay tuned.

Yeah...me too.  Doesn’t mean I’m entirely happy about it though.  ;)

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OK...I just cannot seem to write the usual review.  I tried, I really did.  It just ended up being me describing what was happening on the screen, and that sucks.

Here’s my jumbled thoughts:

Tigh is hearing the “music” because of something that he and Anders both experienced.  What could that be?  The music is the Cylon tracking device/manner...it;s something.  Could be an implant in Gaius, Six, even Hera...could be a simple transmitter attached to Galactica.  Could be anything, really...Salty Seadog will track it down though, because he may be useless and weak some days, but once he gets a wild hair up his ass, he usually gets the job done.

Laura’s assistant is a Cylon.  Something is wrong, and she looks to me like Sharon did way back in the day when her programing was kicking in.

Lee.  What to say about Lee Adama?  He’s chosen a principle over people, and now he’s paying for it.  He made the choice because he’s a bitchy little whiner with Daddy issues, but still - he’s usually on the right side of an abstract principle.  The problem here is this is not 2.5 years ago, when we had the luxury of acting like the 12 Colonies are still here and that this is just another trial in a Caprican courtroom.

Gaius Baltar is, through action and inaction, at least partially responsible for the deaths of 5000 of the last human beings left alive.  Lee can’t possibly think people are going to take him defending this man very well.  Especially those in the military...he resigned his commission to defend a treasonous scumbag like Baltar?  I may understand his choice of principle over people, but I also understand when Dee left him.  I might have done the same.

The lawyer is totally sleazy, BTW.  He’s a defense lawyer through and through.

The extra clip was Lee and Lawyerman talking about Gaius’ guilt.  Lee said ‘You know he’s guilty, right?” Good thing they cut that.  Lee’s actions would have been even harder to justify if we were presented with the simple fact that he believed his “client” to be guilty.  Lawyers are not expected to defend clients that they know are guilty...that would put him on the wrong side of the principle IMHO.

Looks like we’re going to end the season on a lot of fracking talking, BTW.  Remember when this was the best show on TV?

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- The recap, of course, is about Baltar, the book, Zarek’s warnings about the trial, Lee becoming a lawyer and Starbuck’s apparent...suicide?  Reclamation by the Cylons?  Whatever.

- Open on the Old Man reading Starbuck’s file.  Cut to a lottery drawing where the captain of The Gideon’s name was drawn - cut back to Adama reading page after page of Kara’s disciplinary warnings.  Cut to the President drawing one last name, and it is… Cut to Adama again.  Kara snuck something into her own file.  A hand-made card that read “You were always like a father to me” and a photo inside that showed her with a handlebar mustache drawn on.  Aww…

- Anders is not dealing with Kara’s “death” very well.  He’s drunk on the flight deck.  Lee gets interrupted putting Starbuck’s photo on the memorial wall...he comes to try to help Anders.  “I think I fell.” Yeah, off the top of a Viper, ya drunk Irish-wakin’ bastard.  :) Hey, Anders could be Irish.

- Adama was the last name picked.  Hey, there’s a surprise.

- Getting ready to fly Baltar’s lawyer back to his ship, and someone rigged the Raptor to kill the lawyer but not the pilot.  Here’s the thing - that would take an intimate knowledge of explosives AND the design of a Raptor.  Sounds like a deck crew member to me.  Or a Raptor jockey.  Or both.  Credits.

- 41,399.  We lost Starbuck since last count.  Well, and now the lawyer.  One dead lawyer is a good start! (sorry jo-jo!) ;)

- Colonial One - press conference about the assassination.  OK, that is definitely a little current-day political dig.  “As long as I am president this administration will not allow terrorism to alter the framework of our legal system.” Unlike those evil Republicans and their demon leader George W. Nazi! 

- Galactica - Pilot;s ready room, Lee CAGing it up and making some basic errors.  Then, when Racetrack cracks a joke Lee yells “Hey, you got lucky Starbuck...” Ouch.

- Colonial One - We get to meet some dude who wants to defend Baltar.  He was a public defender back on Caprica.  He’s EXTREMELY sleazy looking and carries a cat.  I’m not sure why, or if it’s just one of those things that writers throw in trying to make a character more interesting and edgy since he stated how he hates the cat but it was his wife’s.  With this guy it’s totally unnecessary, as his accent and sleazy demeanor automatically make you pay attention.  Of course maybe the cat means something later...or the cat is a frigging cylon.  Lately I wouldmn’t put it past these writers.

- Galactica - Old Man assigns Lee to security for Sleazebag McCatHater.  Lee knows it’s about getting him out of the air, and Helo is taking the job of CAG.  Lee’s pissed.  Adama is right though.

- Lawyer wants to meet with Baltar, and he’s suspicious that all the usual rooms are bugged.  Turns out Lawyer McAccenty was taught by Joseph Adama.  Yoinks.

- Cut to someone building a bomb.  Donna says that’s a woman’s hand.  Could be.  Could also just be a small dude.  Commercial.

- Jesus Baltar gets led up the hill to Gethsemane to meet with his lawyer.  All Baltar can think about is writing more.  The lawyer seems to like the idea.  Gaius wants Lawyerman to meet with Six.  After the meeting, Lawyer pokes at Lee to get him to fly Lawyerman to Colonial One.

- On the flight deck, we find someone preventing Lee from boarding the Raptor - on the surface it looks like Adama’s orders being carried out, that Lee is to stay aboard Galactica, but then we see the bomb.  Athena is driving the Raptor...so, either this is going to kill someone and not her, or someone planted it and doesn’t care if it kills a Marine or two and Athena, since she;s a toaster anyway.  Tyrol looks...complicit.  Maybe the little chick fingers building the bomb were Cally’s?  This could be a huge conspiracy.

Then the cat runs away and everyone starts climbing under the Raptor and Chief finds the bomb.

- Adama is tearing Lee a new ass.  He’s right - the evil Lawyer was leading Lee around by the nose, and Lee screwed up by not checking the ship.  Then they start arguing over who lost more when Starbuck “died.”

- During the break the question of the week is “Why has Romo Lampkin taken Baltar’s case?” The answer is obviously C, his true motives have yet to be revealed.  More importantly however, is what moron thought up the name “Romo Lampkin” and why have they not actually told us the frackin jagoff’s name in the actual program yet?

- Back from break and Chief clearly isn’t behind it.  The deck crew is arguing and Cally throws a few insults at Sharon/Athena.  Oh sure, when something goes wrong always blame the fracking Cylon, how convenient!  ;)

- Lee’s trying to help Rupert Pupkin or whatever his stupid name is...teaching him how to be secure.  Pumpkin doesn’t seem to care.  Probably because he’s also a Cylon.  EVERYONE IS A FRIGGING CYLON.  Maybe that’s the big mystery of the show - there are a lot more than 12 models, and like, only four humans actually survived.  Everyone is a frigging Cylon.

- I hate that Baltar’s cell is just spray-painted pegboard.  It looks ridiculous, and most things on this show are not that cheesy.

- Umm...Baltar is missing his pen.  The President is missing her glasses.  What’s going on?  Spells?  DNA testing?  Miniature bombs?  The cat;s a klepto?  Anyway, Lee is now starting to act as defense advocate...which sucks, but he kind of has to do in the interest of fair play.  If they’re not going toss Gaius out an airlock, they have to give him every benefit afforded a defendant under whatever law they’re running with.

- Why does the lawyer always wear sunglasses indoors?  Anyway he’s interviewing Six.  Damn she’s hot.  Pumpkin is prattling on about a woman he loved, and he sounds like he’s saying exactly what Six needs to hear and not really speaking the truth.  Holy crap he took off his sunglasses.  Calculated.  He gives Six Gaius’ pen.  OK...he’s convincing Six that Gaius is far, far more devoted to her than he really is.  Seems like an obvious ploy.  She gives the pen back.

Then Lawyerman explains that she’s alive at the whim of Adama and Roslin...and informs her that he wouldn’t help her for ten times the money he’s getting for Baltar.

Lawyer: “Now tell me, does your love hurt as much as mine?
Six: “Yes”
Roslin: “I feel like part of our world just fell down.”

Then the Old man grabs at his stomach where he was shot and seems to check for blood.  I gotta admit I don’t get this sequence.  It really doesn’t matter what Six says.  This whole trial is basically a dog and pony show.  Of course this being the year that Battlestar Galactica does actually get preachy and, let’s face it, left wing and overly liberal, Gaius Baltar will go free and it will be Adama that casts the deciding vote.  Because following the rules is more important that actually prosecuting a criminal.

- Lee is going to have to break his “confidentiality” agreements - the lawyer is playing dirty and he plans to tell the world that Gaius was “silenced.” Lee’s not going to keep that quiet.  They’re chatting amicably over drinks about how Lee’s grandfather defended the worts of the worst.

Rico Pumpkin isn’t a lawyer - he was a client of Joseph Adama’s.  I bet he falsified his past.  Pumpkin also tells Lee the story about his lost love is true.

- In the hall, a Marine saves Pumpkin’s life - someone rigged the door to the head.  That could kill the first person who had to cop a squat.  This is clearly going too far, as though the last big bomb wasn’t.

- Donna made a good point - this episode is a lot more subtle than the last 6 or 8 have been.  It’s filled with tension which is nice.

- Back from break - Lee found Roslin’s glasses in the lawyer’s bag, as well as a button from Adama’s uniform.  It’s tarnished.  Ham-fisted writing!  So that’s why Adama grabbed at his belly - he felt the missing button.  DAMN.  It was way cooler when i thought he was reaching for an imaginary wound.  He seems to have stolen something from everyone involved.  He’s a complete klepto.  He’s trying to come off as deep and meaningful by reading about people from their things, but I don’t buy it.  I think it’s just that he’s a thief and this is how he justifies to himself.  See, no need for the cat - this makes him more interesting.  The cat was totally superfluous.

- Then Lee finds what I think is a detonator?  The Lawyer says he stole it from Kelly.  Kelly admits it.  He says that he will keep trying to kill Baltar’s lawyers unless they lock him up.

- Somehow this leads to the Old Man re-instating Lee as CAG.  1. Did I miss a frigging edit somewhere?  Was there a scene that demonstrated Lee is back to 100% mental acuity required for combat flying?  2. Was accidentally finding the detonator and having that lead to finding the saboteur really proof that he’s over Starbuck?  That is really jarring...it feels like a scene is missing.  Lee wants to stay on as defense assistant.  Bill wants Lee to resume flying because, as Lee seems to have guessed - Bill thinks Lee is getting a bit too much like Grandpa Joe and defending scum, and of course facing off against the Old Man again.  And that’s that...Lee gets his wish and Helo stays on as CAG.  I actually like that idea because i want to see Helo do that job.  I hope we get to actually see him in that role.

- Anders and Lee meet at the memorial wall.  They seem to have bonded somewhat over Kara’s death...I suppose that’s to be expected.

- Gaius is going slightly mad.  It’s mostly rabid paranoia, which seems like a perfectly reasonable reaction to being watched and recorded every minute of every day and also knowing you are the most hated human being alive.  Lee left him the pen, and the lawyer wrote a note that said “There’s no greater ally, no force more powerful, no enemy more resolved than a son who chooses to step from his father’s shadow.” So we’re going with Adama versus Adama again.  As if we haven’t seen it before.  As if we didn’t see Lee get as much respect as Bill Adama knows how to give another human when he named Lee commander of the Pegasus.  As if they didn’t just do the whole thing with Lee and Bill and Mom.  Nope...we get to do it all over again.

Why should we tell a new story when we can keep going back to the well?  I know it’ll be awesomely performed by Bamber and Olmos.  I’m sure that the show will end this season with a bang.  However, at this moment, the whole thing is leaving a bit of a sour taste in my mouth, which sucks because this was a pretty good episode.

I guess I’m just tired of this endless circular argument the two of them always have.  This had better end with some kind of resolution, like Lee is actually a Cylon or some shit.

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Flashback is about Leoben - the one that tried to trick Kara and that Laura had thrown out an airlock, then held her on New Caprica all that time.  Also a bit about Kara’s paintings and her “special destiny.”

- Open on Kara dreaming about painting the Eye of Jupiter design, then painting it over, then having hot paintsex with Leoben as the eye shines through the paint.  Sure.  OK.

- Helo and Kara chat in the latrine.  She opens up to him about the dreams.  He suggests a psychiatrist, and of course toughgirl has to say no.  Then he suggests something to which Kara (who is religious, remember) can’t say no - an oracle that interprets dreams.  Sure enough, here’s big bad ol’ Starbuck visiting an oracle to find out why she masturbates in her sleep to dreams of her captor and torturer.  The Oracle of course seems to know everything - Leoben’s name, her captivity, her name, her destiny, etc.

“The only destiny I have is as a world-class frack-up.” And that, my friends is Kara explained. She’s rebelling against her destiny.  She has since she was a child.  Her mother was abusive, and at teh same time hammered in into Kara’s head that she was special, that she had a destiny.  Kara has control issues because of the abuse.  The fact that she actually does have a “supernatural” destiny means that her mother was right.  She’s not rebelling against having a destiny per se, she’s rebelling against having a destiny because her mother told her she has one.  If Bob the milkman had said it, kara would be OK with it, but since it was Mommy Dearest - well it can’t be true can it?  What she’s forgetting is that even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

- The oracle quoted Leoben’s first statements to Starbuck word for word.  I think it’s been demonstrated time and again that oracles in this world are real.  There is a heavy spirituality that is real in this universe.  She predicts Leoben returning for Starbuck soon.  Credits.

- 41,400 still with us.  And the drum montage makes it seem like we might get some fracking gods-damned action again which would be nice.

- Anders is trying to get Starbuck to come with him and chill out...sorry dude.  Kara Thrace doesn’t do chill.  Ever.  We get more about her mother - “Fear gets you killed, anger keeps you alive.” Her mother was horribly physically abusive...she tells a story about getting even with her mother - When Anders asks if she caught hell for it, Starbuck tells him that her mother grabbed her hand and “slammed my hand in the door jamb. 

“Frak me.”
“It was worth it though.” I know exactly what she means. I probably did half the things I did as a child as ways of getting even with an abusive mother, and even when I got caught and took a beating that left me in pain for days, every time a bone creaked or a muscle ached or I caught sight of a purple-yellow bruise, I smiled at the thought that this was all she had - I was smarter and better and one day I would just get up and walk away.  I would have a life and she would wallow in misery forever, because women like her don;t seek the help they need.”

Yeah - those extra beating were totally worth it.

- Cut to some actual flying!  Hotdog and Starbuck are flying perimeter during the refueling ops.  Starbuck sees a Cylon raider - I am betting the raider doesn’t exist.  Starbuck ends up in what looks like the eye of a hurricane - and of course the Eye of Jupiter.  She’s shooting at what she thinks is a Raider, and she thinks she got hit.  If she did I bet it was a chunk of ice.  Now she’s going so low she might not be able to escape the gravity well to get back into space...flashes of Leoben, her fighting the stick to pull out, etc.

Dudes, she’s cracking up!  Of course this brings me to another chance to levy a complaint - why now?  Why hasn’t this been dealt with before now?  Because they needed to fill unimportant ratings weeks with filler garbage that’s why.  Bastards.

- Back on Galactica and Chief says no impact damage at all.  In your hea-ed, in your hea-ea-ed, Cy-y-lon, Cy-y-lon, Cy-y-lon-lon-lon.  There’s no sign of a Raider on her gun camera footage.

- Old man and Lee discuss if they should ground her.  Lee thinks she’ll break completely if he grounds her.  She needs to be grounded.  Adama seems to be trying to gently push Lee in that direction.

- Cut to the hall of dead/missing.  Kara asks Lee where he wants to go when he bites the big one.  She assumes that she will die in combat of course, because that would thwart her destiny and prove her mother wrong.  Hell of a way to walk around all day.  Lee wants to have his picture next to two good card players.  We finally get around to the issue - Lee sides with Kara and says he trusts her eyes over draedis any day.  They share one of those brother/sister moments that played so much better than the whole star-crossed lovers crap.  Meanwhile she’s hallucinating a candle melting down into the eye.

“Starbuck, whattya hear?
“Nothin’ but the rain.”
“Well then grab your gun and bring in the cat.”
“Wilco, Admiral.”

Remember way, way back to when we first met Starbuck and Adama?  She was running down a hallway to “bump” into the Old Man, something they did every morning.  He’d ask her the question and she;d respond and it was their thing, remember she was a fuck-up who was assigned to Galactica because it was being decommissioned and Adama had a way with her.  So this is important because it demonstrates Adama trying to re-connect on a personal level with Starbuck.  He knows she’s in trouble, obviously.

The rest of the conversation is basically catchphrases, although she gives him the figurine she got from the oracle. 

- Flight deck - she sees herself in the cockpit of her Viper as a child, then flashes to what seems like scenes of abuse coupled with various forms of the Eye pattern.

- Back to the flight deck - Starbuck is frozen, sitting under her Viper.  HELLO?  SHE NEEDS TO SEEK HELP OR STOP FLYING!  She seems to have decided this for herself, so that’s good.  She tries to tell Lee but instead he pushes to get her back up by offering to fly her wing.  Oh GODS...then the fluttery romantic music starts and they start talking about Lee & Dee’s marriage being great, how they;re back where they started with Lee as CAG and Starbuck as the hotshot problem.

THIS IS DAWSON’S FUCKING CREEK, AND I COMMAND YOU TO KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF.  This is Joey and Dawson all over again.  Jesus CHRIST I am sick of this.  See, it wouldn’t be so bad if we hadn’t had all that 90210 shit shoved down our throats this season.  Because we did, though, now I have this visceral hatred of even these little, short moments.

- Cut to two Vipers blasting through the atmosphere.  Why is Apollo’s Viper so filthy?  Starbuck sees the Cylon again. I’m starting to think maybe she is seeing it and we’re being misled.  In fact, of course, that’s exactly what is happening here.  Starbuck is always right when it comes to combat.

Something blasted through her windscreen and knocked her out.  If she’s imaging this it’s awful detailed.  :) She “wakes up” on Caprica, in her old painted squat with Leoben there.

“I write my own destiny.” See?  Anything to avoid it.  He basically tells her that all her bluster and bravado is covering the fact that she’s always afraid and she has been ever since “that day.” FLASHBACK TIME!

- “That day” is when Mom is reading a letter addressed to her, who is Corporal Socrata Thrace.  The letter is from the Colonial Forces Veteran’s Hospital and it confirms that mom has a gastric tumor.  Leoben is watching with Current-day Kara and says that “All this has happened before and all this will happen again” line.  It’s very much “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

Apparently this was six years ago.  Mom rags on her for not being number one in her class, for being Kara the Undisciplined.  Mom’s a real piece of work.  Kara reads the letter and mom says nothing to be done, it’s metastasized.  Mom rejects even the most simple act of kindness.  Kara tells her that she can look at the door for the rest of whatever time she has left because Kara’s never coming back again.

Can’t say as I blame her, mom’s a fucking psycho bitch from hell.  I would have - and have - done the same fracking thing.

- Back to Leoben and Kara in Mom’s place...apparently Mom died alone 5 weeks later.  Yeah...these are my tears.  See how they flow. /sarcasm.  Of course this being Battlestar 90210 Creek, Kara has to confront her guilt and apologize to the monster before she can move on.  We see what looks like a dream sequence with Mom on the bed and a file of all the school work Kara did as a child.

We’re really recycling this old chestnut?  Who wrote this, Hacky McCliche?  “Oh if I could only believe that Kara’s mommy really was secretly proud of her everything would be OK and the sun would come out tomorrow bet yer bottom dollar.” Anyway, it’s all in Kara’s imagination so no, it did not work out all sweet and nice.  Kara left her monster of a mother to die alone and that’s exactly what she did.  She’s pep-talking herself while she is unconscious in the cockpit of a crashing Viper.  So kiss my touchy-feely ass with this hacky writing.  I may be projecting here, but I would have much preferred Kara to realize what she needed to do based on her own sense of self, her own knowledge of right and wrong and her own strength, not this fake and let’s face it hackneyed piece of well-trod writing.  How many times do we see this exact setup in TV and movies?  Can we, just once, have a main character overcome guilt by realizing that it’s not their god-damned fault that the other person was a monster?

Of course that would require recognizing that there is such a thing as evil in the world, and not just “people who are misunderstood.” Why Hollywood writers don’t acknowledge that is a whole other can of worms best left closed for the time being.

- Back to the crashing.  She’s awake.  She’s going to eject?  her hand is slipping down to some handle “Lee, I’m not afraid anymore.” 90 seconds until she gets below the point of no return.  60.  Then Lee sees them both?  I’m pretty sure the shot we got was from behind Lee and it showed the Cylon and Kara in front of him.  So was the Cylon real or not?

She’s going down and begging Lee to let her go.  The pressure explodes her Viper.  Starbuck - as we know her - is dead.

Starbuck is dead.

Let me re-phrase that - Starbuck.  Is.  Dead.

Starbuck is a Cylon.  There is no way in hell that this show, with failing ratings and a fan base that is getting pretty fed up with the nonsense, would kill off one of the most beloved actors on the show.  Fuck Kara Thrace.  Katee Sackhoff is like, a frigging goddess to fans of this show.  Killing her off is not edgy or cool or daring - it’s stupid.  Ergo, she is likely returning as a Cylon.

The other reason?  Look at her IMDB page - no upcoming projects.  That’s because she’s still employed with Battlestar Galactica.

- Kudos to Edward James Olmos for his confused, sad and angry all at the same time reaction to Lee saying she’s gone.  Cut to him back in his quarters and wrecking his model ship in his grief.

- Starbuck is a Cylon.  Starbuck is one of the final five.

I mostly enjoyed this one.  A little bit chatty, but it was more of a return to the season two action/character development mix that worked so well.  Obviously the plot was moved forward in the fact that Kara Thrace is a Cylon.  Or maybe just that Starbuck - the best damn viper jock every to grab a stick - will no longer be flying CAP missions and fragging Cylons.  Because she is one.  Kara Thrace is a Cylon.  How?  It doesn’t make sense with the entire past history of the show as we know it.  It feels a bit like Lost - they’re making up new twists and shit as they go along.

Man, let me tell you - I hope I am wrong.  I actually hope that she’s either dead for real or that the Cylons somehow captured her actual human body before the explosion or some crazy shit.  If Starbuck is a Cylon I might have to kick Moore and Eick’s asses.

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