Leave Chris Crocker alone!

Brilliant.

Love the ad at the end.  Perfect.

Posted by JimK at 07:50 PM on September 18, 2007
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Categories: Entertainment,  Humor
Tags: Chris Crocker Seth Green

Well, I mean, it could be worse, it could be actual cats

Are you, or a woman you now obsessed with Hello Kitty?  This is your laptop.  Jo-jo.  Obviously, I am specifically looking at you for this.  ;)

Posted by JimK at 07:44 PM on September 18, 2007
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Categories: Humor
Tags: hello kitty

LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!

OhMiGAHD.  You gotta see this.

You know how I know that is not fake?

More

You gotta see this guy’s YouTube channel.  I just wasted 30 minutes staring, jaw agape, mind on six kinds of overload, attempting to process this.  It’s not the fake, premeditated “flamboyant gay” act he’s doing.  I could give a shit.  If he wants to affect the mannerisms of Nathan Lane in The Birdcage, then more power to him.  No, it’s the douchebag philosophy to which I strongly object.  It reminds me so very much of another douchebag philosopher we all know and love.

What did guys like Chris do before the webernets?  Just yell shit out the window?

Less

Posted by JimK at 02:20 AM on September 12, 2007
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Categories: Humor
Tags: Britney Spears chris crocker Youtube

Internet People

The sad thing is, I recognize everything in here, and posted about half of it to various blogs over the years.

Posted by JimK at 04:14 PM on September 08, 2007
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Categories: Humor,  Technobabble (Technology),  The Internet(s)
Tags: internet culture frederator meth minute

I am your nerd god, and you shall have no others before me

I’m not that mathematically gifted, so that number seems high, but the rest is pretty good.  Hat tip: Drumwaster.

Posted by JimK at 10:45 PM on September 05, 2007
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Categories: Humor,  Personal
Tags: nerd test

One reason to avoid marriage

OMG OMG OMG OMG.

A woman set fire to her ex-husband’s penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said Wednesday.

Asked if the man would make a full recovery, a police spokeswoman said it was “difficult to predict.”

The attack climaxed three years of acrimonious enforced co-habitation. The couple divorced three years ago but continued to share a small flat, something common in Russia where property costs are very high.

“It was monstrously painful,” the wounded ex-husband told Tvoi Den newspaper. “I was burning like a torch. I don’t know what I did to deserve this.”

1. Living with your ex is common in Russia?  Is Russia the fourth circle of frigging hell?

2. Three years divorced?  My guess is, he was finally dating.  And well...he’s a man.  So he obviously deserved it.

Posted by JimK at 11:57 PM on August 25, 2007
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Categories: Humor,  News,  International Events,  Crime and Criminals
Tags: odd news crime Russia

Don’t put the lit candle in there, Klaus!

Poor kids…

A teenage couple having sex for the first time were interrupted when candles set fire to the girl’s attic bedroom and forced them to flee naked from her parents’ house, German daily Bild reported on Friday.

The girl had wanted to create a romantic atmosphere for the occasion. But when the room suddenly became engulfed with flames, they had to make a hasty escape.

The couple, both 18, were pictured naked in the paper among the burned wreckage of the attic. A charred teddy had survived but the fire wrecked the entire top floor of the house causing around 100,000 euros (68,000 pounds) worth of damage.

Aww, a charred teddy!  These poor, dumb kids were just trying to get their Barry White on.  One can imagine that they were trying to re-enact some romantic scene from some movie.  Or a Rammstein concert.  They are German after all.  Rammstein sets fucking everything on fire.  It rocks so hard.

Posted by JimK at 12:07 PM on August 21, 2007
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Categories: Humor,  News,  International Events
Tags: odd news

Mondays suck

I know this because I grew up reading the worst comic strip of all time, Garfield.  So, in order to brighten your Monday, I bring you stunning redheads. Not Safe For Work, of course…

First, a somewhat girl-next-door type named Lida, gallivanting naked in the Sahara.  Nice.  Next, the kind of redhead that makes some men cry tears of joy, Heather Carolin.  Drapes match the carpet, folks.

You’re welcome.  Also, I found this on my desktop after a weird Ambien fugue last night:

“I’m telling you, you can’t always get what you want.” He looked at me like I said something wrong. 

“What?  What did I say?”

“Dude you’re doing it again.  Talking to me in song titles and lyrics and shit.  Do NOT tell me that if I try sometime I’ll get what I need.  I swear to God I will whipcrack you right in your junk if you do this to me on this goddamned day.  Just shut up.”

“Wow, you’re hostile.  Angry even.  Don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m...”

“SHUT IT!  SHUT YOUR FUCKING GAPING MAW.  If you quote the wisdom of David Banner at me, I swear to Christ and all the little angels I will pull a scam where I take out an ad in the paper looking for the most beautiful woman in America willing to have sex for money, and when she arrives, I will fuck her eighteen times while you are tied to a chair, Clockwork Orange style, watching, and when you can’t take it any more, we’ll pull off her mask and it will all be a setup, and the whole time it was your mom.  I will have violated the anus of your mother while you cheered me on and yelled “Fuck that slag, jam it in her shitbox.” Then I will put you and your mother on a slow bus driving across the entire country in order to get home, so you will have plenty of time to talk about what happened.  Do you want me to do that?  Because I’ll call my people right fucking now if you don’t SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

“OK.  God.  All you had to do was ask me to be quiet.  You fucking drama queen.”

I don’t know what on earth that would ever fit into, but I like that second guy’s style.

Posted by JimK at 01:27 PM on August 20, 2007
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Categories: Beautiful Women,  Humor
Tags: beautiful women Heather Carolin

I R Not A Gurl

Drumwaster posts this awesome lolcat from ICanHasCheezburger.  I admit in his comments to being addicted to ICHC and CuteOverload, and confess my fears that I am, indeed, a female.  Buzzion comes back with this:

Nah, its just due to the fact of your complete masculinity.  Its just so strong that the only way to let out your sensitive emotional side, is through looking at stuff like that.  Thus allowing for you to remain at your proper level of dude-itude normally.

Best.  Rationalization.  Ever.  Buzzion, you win.  Whatever game we were all playing, you are the winner.  That’s pure awesome and it’s now my reason for liking cute pictures of fuzzy animals.  I am just that much man that I have to look at this stuff to keep my man-parts in check, or I might just start fornicating with every living thing around me and then start a war.

Posted by JimK at 02:42 PM on August 02, 2007
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Categories: Humor,  Personal,  Things With Fur,  The Blogosphere

Gollum is smoove

Most of the time these things suck, but this one is pretty masterfully edited.  Gollum and Smeagol sing Barry White:

Imagine the hours of editing that must have taken...all to amuse us for like, two and a half minutes.  :)

Speaking of LOTR, I’ve been playing LOTRII: BFME.  That’s Lord Of The Rings II: Battle For Middle Earth.  Pretty standard RTS game, which means I like it and will play it over and over while never really loving it.  I don’t know why but I play most RTS titles dozens of times...no matter how derivative they are.  LOTRII: BFME has some high points: the balrog for one.  Certainly worth the rental from Gamefly.

Posted by JimK at 07:02 PM on July 31, 2007
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Categories: Entertainment,  Gaming,  Xbox 360,  Humor
Tags: lord of the rings gollum smeagol barry white youtube