Tue, 01 May 2007 21:31:00
American Idol - Top six perform (again!)
Jon Bon Jovi is the celebrity mentor. I’m reminded of the old Denis Leary joke. Stevie Ray Vaughn is dead and we can’t get Jon Bon Jovi in a helicopter? Here’s to hoping that someone tries to do I’ll Be There For You because let me tell you, you can’t hear that song too many times. I think I’ve heard it like, eleventy-trillion times. Oh! Maybe someone will sing Bed of Roses too, God knows I can never get enough of Jon’s sappy power ballads.
Oh! Hey! Maybe next week can be Kix week, or maybe Pretty Boy Floyd! Nothing says “relevant to the year 2007” like 80’s hair metal. And I like the genre...a lot. I can only imagine what all the Sangina fans and the old moms will think. Besides that they’d like to fuck Jon, I mean.
Moving on…
We’re sitting here trying to figure out what poor Jordin and Melinda are going to do. Donna came up with Silent Night for Melinda...good call. Jordin should do Bed of Roses, my earlier snark aside. Phil should sing Blaze of Glory and Blake should take a shot at Blakifying Livin’ On A Prayer. Lakisha and Chris can do whatever the hell they want, I couldn’t care less. :)
Holy shit! Phil Stacey just came the fuck alive! This is clearly the best he’s ever sounded on this show. This seems to be exactly the kind of song he should be singing. This is pretty good. No, I’ll be fair...it’s good. Soulful, powerful, he connected with the material...it was really good. He might have saved his ass with that performance. It was really very good.
Randy: “Other than country this is your best performance ever.” No, it was his best period.
Paula: “Best opening we’ve had all season long.”
Simon: “I thought it was OK.” “I didn’t hear any authenticity” “I thought you were like a bad actor playing a role” I don’t think you’ve done enough to last the week.” Wrong, wrong, wrong. Simon is trying to tank him. No doubt about it.
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I hate when Idol puts the guitar players on stage. The performance is flat...Jordin screwed up with the song choice, no two ways about it. She looks terribly uncomfortable. And at the end she lost the key completely. Not very good. Kind of what you’d expect from Gina, actually.
Randy: “Those verses were a little rough.” “It wasn’t your best.”
Paula: “You went for it even knowing it was a little bit out of your range.” Also Paula referenced Bon Jovi being a abnd full of hot guys for no fucking reason at all. Can someone take her to Chippendale’s or whatever? Get her one of the throwaway male contestants to use or something?
Simon: “Cue the boos in advance.” He hated her look. “As for the singing, it was just out of control, verging on shrieking at times.” He admitted she was at a disadvantage due to the material.
Jordin was TOTALLY open about being out of her depth and took it like a champ that she didn’t do well. That should help her with some votes. Plus last week’s tally will be added to this week and DialIdol had her at a huge advantage with that 70 million vote week…
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Heh...she gets a question but won’t sit on the stool. “I want the camera to get my slim side” Sweety? We know you can’t sit in those pants...you don’t have a slim side. That outfit looks like you got ran over with a chainsaw-covered tire...WTF? Love the big girls, don’t hate on me, ladies, I got back too. :)
Holy fuck she’s blowing notes all over the place. If her singing were a cartoon, it would be one of the ones where the thief is running away with a suitcase full of money and cash is falling out all over the place, she’s dropping that many notes. If interest rates could drop like that we’d all be buying mansions with no money down. It was cuh-rap. The ending didn’t entirely suck for like the last 20 seconds, but that wasn’t enough to save it
Donna: “Remember the passion she had when she sang the Jennifer Hudson song?” Yeah, I do. It’s long gone.
Randy: “LaKisha’s back this week.” No, LaKisha has back this week. “You blew that out da box.” OK, too easy. No box jokes for me.
Paula: “You did give everyone a lil’ sumpin sumpin.”
Simon: “LaKisha, I actually could kiss you after that.” And then he does. “You were so good.” What? Evs, people. I heard nothing of the sort.
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In the mentor video, Jon says it’s an “adventurous rendition.” GOOD! At least he’s trying. Jon doesn’t seem to like it. “Sixteen measures of him not singing on a show that is supposed to feature singers...” Well, he’s sort of singing. Or vocalizing, anyway, he does the beat-boxing like a scat singer uses scat, so...let’s see. It will either be good or suck badly. :)
Hmm. He’s miming like hes a record player. Also the whole song is slowed down a lot. He’s doing this thing like he’s scratching but he’s actually singing the scratching. Then he does a traditional rock chorus, and then...wow....OK, how to describe this. He beat-boxes freestyle, then the drummer duels with him, he returns, then starts singing the chorus again with the scratch effect, then it’s rock again, then there are black chorus singers, and he’s singing, and it’s rock and hip hop and I don’t know what the fuck I just saw, but I tell you what: It was interesting and I need to watch it again. Excuse me while I rewind that.
OK, on second look I dislike the record player bit at the beginning. i get why he did it but it came off corny. The first verse is actually a reggae mix. Then it seamlessly transitions to the traditional song’s chorus. Then we get the dueling beatbox/drum thing. Then the scratch-singing for one chorus, then a mostly acapella second chorus with the background singers, then a mix of what seems like a breakbeat drum with the traditional rock chorus and he ends on the titular line acapella.
It was all over the road but somehow it made sense. This kid can really turn genres on their heads and do weird stuff to music. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, he’s going to sell a shitload of records if someone will let him do his thing and not try to force him to be the “American Idol” molded pop shit thing they usually do.
By the way, he kept the strong rock chorus and his voice carried it. He has power when he wants it I guess. This is maybe the most ballsy, risky Idol performance ever. Simon will hate this. The crowd on the other hand is going literally insane and he got a standing ovation!
Randy: “I’ll give you the award for the most original version of a song ever on Idol.” “that was hot.” Good, at least Randy reck-ah-nize the skills.
Paula: “This was the biggest leap of faith.” “This was amazing, this was your night.” “Simon’s mom was rocking with you!”
Simon: He says half the audience will hate it but half will love it, he was brave and it will work to keep him in for next week.
Well, that was one of those moments that make the show a lot easier to deal with. Someone who did something unique even if the song was something we all know by heart.
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Oh boy. This is gonna be great. /sarcasm.
Man, the Idol guitar player sucks. As for Chris, he’s TOTALLY Timberfaking it. Jon tried to explain that he needs to find “the blue note.” Meaning the song has to be sad. Chris is trying to make it a celebration. Then he sings the Richie part at the wrong time. I hate that. Hey, there’s a forgotten lyric...oh no...this is devolving fast. He totally ignored Jon Bon Jovi’s advice and wrecked the song.
That was, in a word, karaoke crap.
Donna: “And of course the judges are going to love it because it’s always opposite day with us and Chris Richardson.”
Randy: “You did yout thing on that.” That was nice baby I like that
Paula: “You did your thing.” Can she speak for herself?
Simon: Didn’t really like it but was really polite about it. He seems to be trying to save Chris a little...I mean, he tried to destroy Phil Stacey at the open and Phil was great. This he just says “Whether or not it was good enough for you to be back next week, I don’t know.” Simon’s trying to influence votes.
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Well now. She opens strong as hell. She’s prowling the entire stage like...well...a rock star. Hmm. Now...I don’t like the song, but she’s doin’ some shit up there. It seems like there’s nothing she can’t sing. It’s not as compelling as Blake or as...authentically rock, I suppose...as Phil. She was clearly acting a part and trying to transform it into as much of a soul song as she could. It was good, no doubt. I wouldn’t pay money for it but she did quite well.
Randy: “A great performance again.”
Paula: “From the first note we knew the game was on...you’re a rock star.”
Simon: “Like a young Tina Turner...vocally in a different league to everyone else.”
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Bottom three predictions
Donna: It should be Chris, Lakisha and Jordin, but Jordin will likely be safe due to her big numbers from last week. It will be Blake in the bottom three. Two have to leave, And they will be LaKisha and most likely Chris.
Jim: I say Phil did well, but it won’t matter; people are done with him. Phil, LaKisha and Blake in the bottom three with Phil and LaKisha to go home. Chris might make the bottom three instead of Blake. Won’t change who leaves.
Oh crap, the Bushes appeared in a video to thank American Idol viewers for the charity stuff and did a REALLY bad joke. I’m glad I don’t pay any attention to the media coverage of this show. I can totally see BDS popping up in every article about Idol for the next week.
Posted by JimK at 09:31 PM on May 01, 2007
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Categories: Television, American Idol
Tags:
Technorati: TV Music American Idol Paula Abdul Randy Jackson Simon Cowell Blake Lewis Jordin Sparks Lakisha Jones Chris Richardson Melinda Doolittle Phil Stacey
Comments:
#2 Posted by Grover 
on 05/02 at 05:37 PM -
The first concert I ever went to was “Slippery When Wet” when I was in Jr High. Bon Jovi will always have a place in my music catalog.
How could Jordan not sing Bed of Roses??? She totally dropped the ball there.
Please let Lakisha and Chris get the boot.
Simon commenting to Lakisha about her “Nice Lips” oogied me out. Weird.
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Damn straight, and we all agreed with Dire Starights too, “Little faggot got his own Jet airplane” That aon’t working.
We knew all the pussy the were getting and we were envious. My wife, girlfriend at the time, knew Bon Jovi was one of my albums. Then pretty boy goes on Ally McBeal and he’s soooo cute and milfs everwhere are drooling.
Wife “Who is that?”
Me- “That’s Jon Bon Jovi, you know, he sings Dead or Alive, Runaway, Livin’ on a Prayer? When it comes on I blast it and you tell me to turn it down. I have 4 of their albums.”
Wife - “He’s sooo cute!”