Mon, 14 Jan 2008 14:41:00
10 reasons why Kevin McCullough is a liar *UPDATED* (with a correction)
I don't know why Kevin McCullough felt the need to lie so much in this "article" about Mass Effect, but lie he did. Michael Moore would be ashamed of being this much of a liar. For the record, I played Mass Effect through twice and did every mission and talked to every character. I covered every square inch of that game and I played once as a male and once as a female. I know of what I speak, unlike Kevin McCullough, who clearly never played the game, and is a liar.
the new video game that one company is marketing to fifteen year old boys.
LIE NUMBER ONE. This game is rated M, 17 and older. Kevin McCullough is a liar.
It's called "Mass Effect" and it allows its players - universally male no doubt - to engage in the most realistic sex acts ever conceived.
LIES 2 AND 3. XBox 360 players are not universally male, and there is no realistic sex whatsoever. Kevin McCullough is a liar.
One can custom design the shape, form, bodies, race, hair style, breast size of the images they wish to "engage"
LIE NUMBER 4. You can ONLY manipulate the face, hair and sex. There is NO mechanism in the game to allow for form, bodies or breast size adjustment. Your character is male or female, with skin, eyes, nose, mouth, cheek, hair and skull adjustments ONLY. Your character is also wearing either grey fatigues or a full suit of armor for almost every single moment of the game save for a two-minute barely-suggestive "sex" scene, which you can see here (requires Flash).
and then watch in crystal clear, LCD, 54 inch screen, HD clarity as the video game "persons" hump in every form, format, multiple, gender-oriented possibility they can think of.
LIE NUMBER 5, and maybe the biggest one yet. This is a scene barely more suggestive that what is on daytime TV. The ONLY possible combinations are between a male character and a blue alien girl, or a female character and a blue alien girl. That's it. The rest of this crap was made up in Kevin's fertile (and apparently deviant) imagination. Oh what the hell...LIE NUMBER 6: My monitor is only 19 inches. Kevin McCullough is a liar.
Then there's the dishonesty behind the game' title. "Mass Effect" sounds like a war game with a deadly virus that is spreading unless the GI-Joes are able to defeat the evil and deadly substance and it's covert war plan.
LIE NUMBER 7: It's named for the physics, dumbass.
If a pre-teen, teen, young adult, or adult male plays such a game in which the women DO submit without choice, are made to appear as Barbie streetwalkers, and perform whatever act can be imagined,
LIE NUMBER 8. It's not a bold-faced lie, but the implication is that Mass Effect is such a game. It is not. The female characters in the game run the gamut from "companion" to ass-kicking soldier who can arm nukes to "biotic" expert who move things with thier minds to hackers. Just like the male characters. Not once does any female submit without choice, nor are any of them made to appear as "Barbie streetwalkers."
Kevin McCullough is a liar.
And because of the digital chip age in which we live - "Mass Effect" can be customized to sodomize whatever, whoever, however, the game player wishes.
LIE NUMBER 9. There is only ONE possible sex scene*. The character you can have sex with is named Liara, and she's the ONLY ONE. There is no sodomy (apparently that word in it's many forms, is weighing heavily on Kevin McCullough's lying little mind, the big perv) in any form, and you cannot be sexual with any other character in the game at any time, ever. It happens once, for about two minutes, right before you go into the segment where you battle the big bad guy at the end.
Again, Kevin McCullough is a liar.
With it's "over the net" capabilities virtual orgasmic rape is just the push of a button away.
LIE NUMBER 10. It's not even a multiplayer game. There is no online connection to other players. Kevin McCullough is a liar. Kevin McCullough also harbors rape fantasies and thinks way too much about sodomy and young children. It appears, and I'm not making any claims, just observations from his article, but it appears that Kevin McCullough is obsessed with raping and sodomizing children online.
I'm not saying Kevin McCullough actually rapes and sodomizes children online, I'm saying that his fevered descriptions (of this game that doesn't exist) demonstrate that Kevin McCullough is obsessed with raping and sodomizing children online.
Kevin McCullough is a liar. Did I mention that?
*UPDATE* - Via Rann's comments, here's Kevin McCullough's "rebuttal" diatribe. he's proud of having lied and refuses "to move." So he's arrogant, intractable and a liar.
* Also, I need to make a correction; It turns out you can sleep with Ashley (or Kaidan if you are a woman) if you play your cards right. Both times I played I didn't get anywhere with Ash and I sacrificed Kaidan, so I assumed that the whole "flirty Ashley" thing was a red herring and you could only sleep with Liara. Turns out I'm just not smooth with the human ladies (or guys for that matter), I am more of the James T. Kirk type. I must be one of those "gamer nerds" who obsesses over alien sex so much that I subconsciously sabotaged any change of normal, hetero, human-to-human sex, which I assume Kevin McCullough would have tolerated a little more than the depraved, alien-on-woman sex he
By the way, don't you love how the sum total of his research into this game was one or two Youtube clips? Makes you really want to trust him on the matters of the world, doesn't it? Kevin McCullough is a liar. Did I mention that? I think I might have.
Posted by JimK at 02:41 PM on January 14, 2008
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Categories: Entertainment, Gaming, Xbox 360, The Fourth Estate, The Stupidity Of Man
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Comments:
#2 Posted by Rann Aridorn 
on 01/14 at 04:41 PM -
Good lord. This is worse than Jack Thompson. I mean, at least when Thompson talks about “murder simulators”, he’s usually actually talking about games where you, y’know, kill people.
This guy’s entire brush with the game was apparently reading the back of the box and then… I don’t know, I’d say going to naughty fanfic sites but the last time I checked, there weren’t really any Mass Effect ones. ... I was curious?
But yeah, this is just… wow. Total wow. Obviously he’s trying to pander solely to a crowd that he knows will never come within touching distance of a copy of Mass Effect, and trusting on that to make himself believable, since at the point of CHARACTER GENERATION he’d be revealed as a liar.
#3 Posted by Leonson on 01/14 at 05:04 PM -
The character you can have sex with is named Liara, and she’s the ONLY ONE.
That’s not true. There are 3 romantic options, 2 total for the sex that Shepard is:
Male-
Ashley
Liara
Female-
Kaidan
Liara
Either way, that’s certainly not sex at will with anyone in anyway I can imagine.
#4 Posted by boobthedog on 01/14 at 05:39 PM -
I just saw a more hardcore scene on Days of Our Lives when I flipped by it.
Seems almost daily someone from townhall outs themselves as a moron.
#5 Posted by chrisbg99 
on 01/14 at 05:49 PM -
I’m thinking he read some fevered hype from some sex starved gamer about that scene and after some minor research, wrote that article.
I remember people making a big deal about it and when it was first shown online, it looked about as stupid and awkward looking as any video game with sexual situations in them.
#6 Posted by Toastrider on 01/14 at 08:11 PM -
Yahtzee Croshaw has a better review of Mass Effect, anyways.
http://tinyurl.com/2d2fnm
--TR
#7 Posted by Buzzion on 01/14 at 08:23 PM -
Your character is also wearing either grey fatigues or a full suit of armor for almost every single moment of the game save for a two-minute barely-suggestive “sex” scene, which you can see here (requires Flash).
They definitely didn’t spend any of their budget on actors or script writers did they? I think I prefer the suggested lesbianism of Juhani in KOTOR over that scene.
#8 Posted by Drumwaster on 01/14 at 09:02 PM -
I just watched that scene, and I have only one comment: I’ve seen more suggestive stuff in MAD Magazine…
Whoever this dumbass is, he has obviously never bothered to soil his lily-white what-passes-for-a-mind by actually PLAYING the damned game, thasfodamsho! Reminds me of the Catholics protesting Kevin Smith’s “Dogma”, yet they never even saw a single frame of projected film…
Once, many moons ago, when I was just a wee lad, I was deeply involved with the youth group at my Baptist church. I memorized all the verses, I read the KJV Bible cover-to-cover on at least five occasions, and I was what you would have called “a nice young man”.
The church was protesting a song from one of “those demon rock-and-rollers” that was so blatant about her devil worship that she even had it right there in the title!
The title was “Hell Is For Children” by Pat Benatar. I was, right along with the rest of all the other nice young men and ladies, horrified at the thought of someone threatening the youth of America with such a horrible place as Hell.
I actually got into a long argument with my older brother about this (since he loved that kind of music), and he actually stumped me when he said, “Have you ever listened to the song?”
At the time, I honestly didn’t see the relevance of the question, and I said “No, why?”
He played me the song, shushing me every time I tried to open my mouth to say something. Then he asked, “What was the song about?” (If you’ve never heard the song, you should go look it up.)
That was the LAST time I ever took someone else’s word on ANYTHING, and it was the end of my career as “a nice young man”, evolving to “that nosy youngster with all the silly questions”.
#10 Posted by Drumwaster on 01/15 at 12:58 AM -
IRC: where the men are men, the women are also men, and the children are FBI agents.
(Sorry, but that was the first thing to come to mind...)
#11 Posted by JimK on 01/15 at 01:08 AM -
You made yourself a woman, Jim?
Not just a woman: I tried to make her Milla Jovavich. :) I had already played through as a dude, and I wanted to see how the NPCs reacted to a female lead...so yep. I hads a vuh-geena.
#12 Posted by miguelito on 01/15 at 03:13 AM -
Leonson is right.. on my first play through I played as a guy and scored with Ashley.
That one was not even up to the level of tame, or as you say, you can see FAR worse on broadcast TV every day.
#13 Posted by miguelito on 01/15 at 03:23 AM -
JimK.. Heh.. same exact idea I had (about seeing how differently the reactions would be and the game might play out) that I had. Need to go back and actually play it.. only went through a bit.
Also did different abilities too.. more biotic vs fighter.
#14 Posted by bendparker on 01/15 at 12:01 PM -
I really wish I was even the slightest bit good at RPGs, because the game looks and sounds fun.
#15 Posted by Buzzion on 01/15 at 12:21 PM -
I wonder if this guy ever saw the game Leisure Suit Larry?
#16 Posted by Rann Aridorn on 01/15 at 01:39 PM -
He’s released a “rebuttal” and is apparently sticking to his moronic, uninformed, lying guns.
#18 Posted by Yahonza on 01/15 at 03:09 PM -
I guess he has an internet radio show and he’ll be discussing it there.. He writes:
HERE’s THE LIVE CALL IN NUMBER:
(347) 205-9765
(That is a free call for cell phones nationwide!)
Back on the air this afternoon - 2pm EST. One Hour ONLY!
SOME CULTURE:
GamerNerds from X-box Universe are screaming for my head, because I object to a game that features alien, lesbian, hetero sex - and is being played by 15 year olds! Here’s their chance to dialogue about it - starting at the top of the show 2pm: (347)205-9765. (Free call on most cell phones. And in NYC metro area!)
http://kevinmccullough.townhall.com/blog/g/47c8e31b-dc3c-4f03-a660-2f620bec44ac
#19 Posted by Rann Aridorn on 01/15 at 03:34 PM -
Here’s the link I have.
Lovely how right off the bat he starts with sneering about “gamer-nerds” and implications that anyone who would dare to point out he’s lying must be fucking their XBox.
How mature. How professional. Truly this is the face we should be looking towards for guidance in these times of trouble.
#20 Posted by Buzzion on 01/15 at 03:49 PM -
Wish I wasn’t at work so I could hear it. Honestly I really hope most of the calls are from intelligent gamers who can completely rip him apart for the lies he’s telling.
#21 Posted by mgnmfrc1 on 01/15 at 03:58 PM -
Gamer nerds? Does his dude even have a mirror? He has one of those smug needs to be bitch slapped face for radio kind of looks.
Where da fuck did Ree go? Can’t get to the site. Always makes me wonder if the iron curtain has come down.
#22 Posted by ErikTheRed on 01/16 at 12:20 PM -
Penny Arcade is all over his shit:
PA on Kevin McCullough
#23 Posted by Noblebrown on 01/16 at 01:06 PM -
Wow. This man is a true dick. He should get together with Jack Thompson. I’m sure they’d enjoy secretly fucking each other in a church confessional. It would bring back memories of childhood.
#24 Posted by Drumwaster on 01/16 at 03:45 PM -
Whose childhood - theirs or yours? :-p
#26 Posted by Spoonman on 01/17 at 01:24 AM -
Definition of obscenity, by Kevin McCullough:
“Anything which gives me a boner.”
#27 Posted by Noblebrown on 01/17 at 02:21 AM -
Their childhoods, not mine. In mine, I was the one raping the priest.
#28 Posted by chrisbg99 on 01/23 at 06:02 PM -
http://www.gametrailers.com/player/usermovies/163925.html
Gah.
#29 Posted by Rann Aridorn on 01/23 at 06:22 PM -
“Full digital nudity”.
Christ. They just picked up MucCullough’s lies and reported them as fact. And the “reporter” just blows off the entire concept of parental controls, obviously as a “I don’t understand what that is so I’m going to ignore it” gesture.
Fucking Fox News.
Also pretty funny how their “specialist” starts on one tangent, realized that what she just said completely invalidated the rest of her argument, and then just went off into the lala land of “Vidya games are bad, mmm’kaaaay?”
#30 Posted by Rann Aridorn on 01/23 at 06:26 PM -
... What in the FUCK? The “reporter” and the “specialist” are just literally spouting nonsense at him. The “reporter” actually seems to be making an argument that video games damage kids because it’s easy to get past YouTube’s age confirmation screen.
Jesus.
#31 Posted by Rann Aridorn on 01/23 at 06:32 PM -
Ah. A whole panel of “specialists” who also haven’t researched, haven’t played, and don’t know what they’re talking about.
Oh CHRIST. “It’s up to parents to control what their children see.” “Yes, unfortunately.” WAY TO ADVOCATE A FASCIST NANNY STATE, YOU RETARDED FUCKHOLES.
#32 Posted by chrisbg99 on 01/24 at 12:52 AM -
I mean for fuck’s sake there are few women I’d like to punch square in the mouth and that first one is right up there.
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#1 Posted by Drumwaster
on 01/14 at 04:23 PM -
Gee, Jim, whyn’t you tell us how you really feel? You’re being just a little vague, after all…